Backdrop
by Vampykitty-kun
Summary: 3 years ago,he watched as his band flew into the sky, leaving him behind in NYC to pursue a solo career. 3 years ago, he pushed Tohma out of his life for good.Or so he'd planned.Now he's returned,to help lead Shuichi to stardom,regardless of consequences.
1. Chapter 1: What's done is done

As requested, Ryuichi POV has returned, for another in manga story.

As she appreciated the last one the most, I suppose I'll dedicate this little ficlet to t.a.g.

Whootness.

Again with the cheddar Pringles and 2 liter of soda...

I'm sure this is going to be another LONG one shot... filled to the brim with mindless Ryuichi banter, depression, and inevitably, smut... with a side of humor.

Enjoy the meal.

*****NOTE:** This has gone far past the ideals of a one shot... I fudged up my time lines, due to Anita having my Gravi mangas, then ended up having to save my ass my adding to the fic once I found out what I messed up. So now, this fic has turned into a new, unplanned monster...

This fic will now be as long as it takes to cover the **WHOLE** 12 mangas of Gravi, from **Ryuichi's POV**.

What's the fun in that you ask?

Well, I get bored... and Ryuichi did not have nearly as much air time in the books as I'm comfortable with, so I get to dive into his off stage moments.

So now that I must say so, I do not own Gravitation. It solely belongs to Maki Murakami. However, Ryuichi's POV in this fic is all mine, as are most scenes.

This is now sorta a prologue, and Ryu telling his story.

As Anita has my mangas, and will not be giving them back any time soon (And it takes me 4 hours to get to her college) I needed to find a new source for the manga. So, I ask almighty google for the mangas, and google delivers. I found a fantastic site with the scans on there. Only, their awesomeness. They're fan translated, instead of the translated, and re-writes Tokyopop did. All I can say, is that Tokyopop screwed up a LOT of things, and I'm now re-reading the whole dang thing PROPERLY translated. All Japanese jokes in place, yay!

Enjoy this happy accident!

**Pairings:** Ryuichi x Tohma, Yuki x Shuichi, Tohma x Mika, and slight Ryuichi x Shuichi, Tatsuha x Ryuichi.

**Rated:** — For language, and obvious naughty bits.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I had never expected things to turn out like this. At least, not this bad...

By choosing to stay in New York, I'd hoped to gain my freedom from Tohma, and learn how to live for myself, by myself. I'd hoped to move on, forget the blonde, leave him to his family life, stop the adultery...

I'd failed.

For weeks, Tohma sent email after email, no less than twice per day, narrating his life. I never could bring myself to respond... After 2 months with no response from myself, the emails became less and less frequent, until they ceased to exist at all. Foolish me... I cried.

In all of it, I turned K-san into a mother hen of sorts...

Although the blonde had returned to California, and now lived with Ark, an apparent friend of both K-san and his wife, when Judy herself was out of town on business... When Judy WAS in town, they spent quality time with one another, something he'd missed once the woman had gone off to live her dream. He'd married her upon his return there. They'd sent me the photo.

Despite having no more obligations to me, he hadn't removed his devices from Kuma upon his departure.

I admit it... I knew the man listened to my every word when I went off, in the privacy of my suite... he heard every sob, every fit of destruction...every moan. Those first six months I was lucky to get half my paychecks, the constant repairs to my room eating away at my account.

At times, I was even pathetic enough to talk to the rabbit, knowing that at least someone was listening, even if they couldn't respond, or give an attempt at consoling me.

I preferred things this way.

At the very least, K-san couldn't tell me to suck it up, when all I needed was to let it all out. I'm thankful for this. I'd never been good at bottling things up, my emotions most oftenly worn right on my face.

Kuma had spent most of his life with me, living in my bedrooms, or tagging along on tours, waiting on the couch for my return when we had concerts, or I just flat out decided to leave the house. In the days after Nittle Grasper's separation, and after Tohma, he began to accompany me everywhere. At times I think K-san was grateful for this, able to track my movements, hear my rambling, ensuring I was where I needed to be, and in the right mind set. I'm sure he frequently found himself on the phone with my manager, the poor, evil, woman was always losing track of me. She'd have been better placed with any other singer, one willing to conform to new schedules, new studio musicians. Still, she always managed to find me, better late than never.

The first year on my own with XMR was stressful, filled with sleepless nights, and plenty of drunken stupors. I was never scolded, such behavior seemed expected from American artists, and so long as I made it where I needed to be, in one piece, and did the work asked of me, everyone but poor manager let me be.

I'd signed a one year contract. I had told my bandmates, my dearest friends turned strangers, that I was staying a year... before watching them soar out of sight, and out of my life.

Without a second thought, I'd signed my soul away for a second year.

Weeks after I'd poorly signed my name on that inch thick packet, I received word from Noriko.

She missed me.

There was a time that she'd have jumped for joy at my disappearance... I wasn't sure whether to be sad or ecstatic that things had changed so drastically.

I sent her a brief message, simply saying that I wasn't going back, and that I was sorry.

She responded mere hours later, with an email filled with what I was sure was hysterics... Choppy sentences, no care for writing mistakes, begging me to talk to her, tell her why I was doing this... I ignored her, unable to answer.

My attempt at making a new life for myself had failed. I didn't know why I had chosen to stay. I could not forget Tohma, with his soft touches, the gentle caresses... his silky blonde hair... The more I tried to forget him, the more I remembered. The more I remembered, the harder I tried to cloud my mind... rid myself from that pain.

I did many things I'm not proud of, things I care to not remember. Most I simply, truthfully, cannot recall.

There came a night where K-san heard nothing from my overactive mouth for hours, only my ragged breaths as I clung to Kuma for support. I'd had a bad concert, the wrong sort of audience, only caring about themselves. The hired hands...poor excuses for studio musicians, accidently, or on purpose, booby trapped the stage with their equipment, causing my unexpected, violent dive across the stage mid song when my boot caught one of their cords, sending me flying.

Straight into the drums.

The background music came to an abrupt stop as the other musicians became aware of the chaos. The owner of the set flung his drum sticks to the ground and started a scene as I lay there clutching my shoulder. The throbbing captivated my attention, and I could only hoped I hadn't re-damaged the shoulder too badly in the fall. I did not stand back up. I COULDN'T stand back up. I became aware of the crowd's laughter. It echoed through the concert hall, mocking me.

I shut down.

I was only briefly aware of the others leaving the stage, and Ms. Manager lugging me off stage with assistance of one of the bouncers.

She was insensitive, screamed and harped on me for not having risen and attempted to finish the show. Was disappointed in me for having cowered in a heap on the stage. She continue on, and on, until she finally left me at my room door. I dragged myself through the threshold, and walked straight to the bedroom, collapsing on the bed.

K-san knew nothing of the disaster of the concert. Kuma had been left at home. My silent actions were not explained, nor my early arrival to my bed, three hours prior to the end of the concert. I suspect that he'd called my angered manager to find out the details, but I've never asked.

I tend to try and push as much of that night out of my mind as possible...

After hours of silence, constant throbbing, and sharp pains... I'd had enough.

Enough of Tohma, controlling me still, even though hundreds of miles away, with not a word from him in ages. Enough of my self centered, spastic, manager. Enough of studio musicians not worth a damn. Enough of the unrelenting pain in my shoulder... and enough of my own self pity...

I awoke seventy-six hours later to the strong anti-septic scent burning my nose, Kuma sitting on my chest, and the sound of K-san raging in the hallway outside of my unnaturally clean, white room.

I likely don't have to give explanation as to what happened, nor do I want to.

K took me home. Damn near destroyed the hospital lobby in effort to get me out of the building and back to XMR rather then have me placed elsewhere.

I would not fair any better under constant surveillance than my late mother. K-san understands this, and more about me, than I give him credit for.

He became my manager once again, kicking the bitch that replaced him aside. XMR Welcomed him back with wide open arms, going even as far as raising his pay. He left Judy back in California leaving her with Ark again. I asked him why...why he'd come back, just for pathetic me. Told him I wasn't worth it, that without the band I'd become useless.

He slapped me.

"Clearly I made a terrible mistake leaving you alone with these people. They've done nothing but let you slip away. It's a wonder this country has any music industry with the way they let their artists deteriorate. Don't get me started on listing the number of musicians that have died by suicide, drug overdose, alcohol poisoning, and murder via crazy fans. I should have known this would happen... It happens to anyone worth a damn out here." He'd snarled, far angrier with himself than with me.

I hadn't been able to understand it.

I'd returned to my suite, groggy and under fed, with K at my side.

In all the chaos, I could only be glad that my shoulder was not too far gone, only a dull ache remained. Despite the hospital's recommendations, all medications were confiscated by K, even ones given to me during my departure.

K would be reluctant for years to even give me so much as a Tylenol.

I admit it, I was pretty stupid.

K-san and Judy stayed married. They spoke over the phone a few times a week. On occasion, K even talked to Ark. Weekends, when they were free were spent in Los Angeles at Judy's home. K was free to go alone, but he always brought me along. I'm unsure, even to this day, if it was for his benefit or my own. Probably both. There were times I really just needed to get away.

With K-san's return, I managed to put a decent life back together. The man knowing all of my problems, and dislikes, knowing how I preferred to have my day scheduled, even what I liked to eat, aided in my recovery.

K-san covered the whole mess up. It never reached papers, local, or in Japan. Never reached Tohma or Noriko. It became our little secret.

K-san babied me. Humored me even, even as I regressed further into myself, preferring to play the fool than deal with the real world. With expectations lowered, life became easier. I was allowed to pick my own studio musicians, holding interviews with candidates, getting to know them, and their music. I'd settle on three of them, a typical American set up. Drums, Guitar, Base. I'd keep them the remainder of my time with XMR.

My music started to shine again.

By the time we were half way through the second year, my future was looking ever so brighter as time went on.

Even now, looking back at that first year or so's music, I cringe. Not a single song was a hit. I never made the charts. I lost much of my American fanbase, and had to earn their love back slowly and painfully, working as hard as I could to regain their trust.

One visit to L.A. brought news that Judy was pregnant with their first child.

K-san later confided in me that he wasn't all too sure the child would be his, unable to trust that Judy and Ark weren't together in their time apart. It likely didn't help that the movies she stared in were practically straight up porn, either...

Noriko kept track of me, so I found out. My change in music was drastic. She began speaking with K, without my knowledge. He surprised me unexpectedly, giving me the phone one day. It was amazing how happy I became speaking with her, even if just over the phone. She avoided talk of Tohma like the plague, and I was grateful. She expressed her love for my sudden change in style. She mothered me, chatting with me for hours. Saki had turned five, and I prayed she still looked every bit like Nori.

It was amazing how much I missed her, once faced with the reality of it.

From then on, K-san always passed me the phone, and Noriko humored my change in personality just as much as K.

I signed on for my third year.

By then, I'd gotten my act together, my music was flourishing, even a few CDs made it internationally, reaching my home land of Japan. The CDs did exceptionally well in the states, but that was nothing when compared with the reaction from the Japanese market. I was still as popular as ever over there.

Noriko came for a visit. I got to see her for the first time in nearly four years. She brought little Saki along, and even Tetsuya joined her for their week long vacation. As I'd hoped, the adorable little girl was a miniature of her mommy. Noriko herself had matured, nearly as much as I'd regressed. No longer was she still trying to be a loud mouth teenager. She'd grown into being a loving wife and mother. Her hair was no longer a bright baby pink, but had returned to her natural brown waves from back in their early days. She'd finally become a woman.

I was sad to see her go, I truly was. I couldn't say when she'd be back, but at the very least, we were no longer strangers.

I canceled an interview, band practice, and two separate photo shoots in the middle of the week so that K-san and I could run off, back to Los Angeles, when word came that Judy had gone into labor. We had taken a private helicopter, which had flown at top speed to the other end of the country. We'd landed on the hospital's own helicopter pad, much to their surprise and anger. It took very little convincing from K and his revolver for them to ignore the whole incident and let the helicopter leave as quickly as it had arrived. We'd made it there on time, and Ark had removed himself from the delivery room upon our arrival. I'd kept him company while K-san and Judy had their time together.

"What should I say to K-san if Judy's child is raven haired?" I'd asked nonchalantly as I crossed my arms behind my head, and stared at the nervous man who'd taken to leaning against the far wall.

Ark had nearly leapt out of his skin at my comment, color draining from his face.

I had believed K's suspicions to be correct from there on out, as the man refused to look my direction again.

Unfortunately, it was a known fact that K would not have had suspicions without reason...and I already knew far too well that staying faithful to partners was impossible for some. It didn't surprise me in the least that Judy had slept with others besides her husband... I just felt sad for K.

I'm such a hypocrite...

Three hours after our arrival, a nurse had come out to tell us the good news. Judy had given birth to a healthy baby boy, seven pounds, three ounces. The poor nurse seemed worse for wear, her scrubs in tatters

I'd watched Ark struggle with his next decision, trying to decide if he should chance entering the room. I had known exactly what was running through his head.

He didn't want to get shot.

We hadn't gone through security as we'd entered the building. K had likely been still heavily armed. The labor room had clearly been sound proof, as Judy hadn't been heard. Even though I'd never witnessed a birth, everyone knows how loud the women could get.

Ark had done the smart thing, and had collapsed down into the chairs beside me.

I'd decided to chance it, and had gone it.

It had been a heart warming sight.

Like the nurse, the room was worse for wear, things had been whipped across it. A few bullet holes littered the walls, and despite hospital policy, the doctor sat in the far corner, glasses broken, smoking a cigarette.

K however, was beaming, and Judy was out cold.

I'd walked over to the man, whose hair hung loose around him, and smiled at the bundle cradled in his arms. A chubby little fellow, with his father's platinum blonde locks spiking upon on top of his head.

They'd named him Michael.

Ark would live to see another day. His outlook would depend on future actions...

The third year came to a close, my contract expiring in just under two weeks. We were pushing to release another hit single, the last track for our latest CD.

It was then that things came full circle, and I ended up in this mess...

A frantic, annoyed call from Noriko greeted me in the morning, far too early for my liking. The Shindou boy she was playing for was in a rough spot. She was frustrated, Tohma was damn near losing it, Eiri being involved on top of work was not a good combo, so Noriko said. Told me the kid was a fan...reminded her of myself. I'd asked her to get to the point of her calling so early.

She wanted me to come whip him into shape.

I declined. Rightfully so. To return to Japan, hang around NG Studios... I'd be around Tohma.

"Ne, Noriko... No can do. You understand, right?"

She hadn't.

"I don't care about the damned history you and Tohma have, get your ASS out here right NOW and fix this boy, or I may very well beat his head in with my synthesizer!" She's snarled, requiring me to hold the phone far away from my poor ears.

"Noriko..." I'd whined...whining usually got the job done nowadays...

She'd sighed, grumbled under her breath a bit.

"I'm emailing you his shitty music. Listen to it, make the damned bunny listen to it, and then call me back and give me the CORRECT answer to my single, pleasant, request." and she had hung up.

I glared at my laptop. It mocked me.

Honest, it did.

So tempting...music was always nice. Noriko calling it shitty was practically a compliment coming from her mouth. If she'd really thought it was bad, she'd have been far more vulgar.

I gave in, logged onto my window to the world, and pulled up my email, downloading the midi files.

17 times.

I listened to each and every song 17 times.

I could hear my influence in his voice... I could hear the old Grasper synth sound, courtesy of Noriko.

It sent me reeling... in a bad, and good way.

I suddenly felt a pang for my lost, dismantled band. Nostalgia you could call it...

The midi files were enough to swing my decision... I would go to Japan.

I had to make Shuichi Shindou see the light... pass my sparkle onto him.

Maybe then I could let Nittle Grasper go for good, and not hate myself for it.

I'd called Noriko back nearly an hour after her first call.

It rang several times, before the line was picked up.

"Dammit...you were right... Kid's got potential. I'll help... I'll come to Japan. You're soooo manipulative, Noriko." I'd pouted playfully.

She giggled, and thanked me.

Now I'd have to convince K-san that I was not crazy for going...

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

There we go... the beginning to my little monster completed at last.

Chapter two is almost complete as well, and chapter three.

From here on out, everything happens presently.


	2. Chapter 2: Rescuing Shuichi Shindou

Yay! Chapter two! I love writing this fic... I just have to make sure I keep up with my other now too, lol.

Again, special thanks to the translator who did the fan translation for the manga on the site I've been viewing it! I'm really enjoying the correct dialogue!

So say thanks to Shayla Hidaka! Her translations are fantastic!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"No, most definitely not." K-san barks out with finality.

I throw him my best pout.

"But Noriko NEEDS me, K!" I groan, chewing on Kuma's right ear.

"And?"

K-san can be so very mean sometimes, but I deal. But right now, I must win...

"Well...she's called this in as a personal favor! And, And, she even called later to tell me that- well, Tohma's in London with his wife, so he won't even be in the country! It's perfect timing!" I wiggle in place, pout still plastered on my face.

Kuma's ear is now sopping wet.

"Nope. Not risking it." he glares, clacking his fingers against the gun holster on his hip.

His guns no longer faze me. Rubber bullets can only go so far, and he only carries one hand gun with real ones on him at a time, as a just incase. He's not shot at me with either, since Nittle Grasper was all together.

Time for the ranting...

"But...but K!" I gasp, rushing forward to tug at his shirt. "Think of the music! THE MUSIC! Shuichi Shindou NEEDS me! Noriko says she's gonna bust him over the head with her synth if he doesn't shape up! Do you know how much it hurts when she does that? Do you? Cuz I do! It hurts a LOT! They're very heavy and angular!"

K winces, although I'm sure it's because I'm going off, rather than the synth bashing talk. Pain does not faze K.

"Noriko says Shindou-san reminds her of me! ME! Isn't that awesome! I'm soooo unique! He's got to be amazing if he's like me, don't you think?" I turn on the crocodile tears, and he groans.

"Dude, no... stop that indecent crying! I'm not letting you set one foot in Japan, whether Shindou or Noriko need you or not. You'll end up going, you'll see Noriko, you'll see this kid. You'll see the crowd, you'll be on the stage, and you'll get home sick, and mopey on me, and it will take WEEKS to get you whipped back into shape and in a good mood." he grumbles, crossing his arms.

I didn't want to pull my trump card. It's low for even me, but then again, it's the truth... and if I have to step in, I will. I pray luck is with him, and I won't.

"But... K..."

I stare at the ground. All tears have stopped, the childish mask has retreated. This is me, all me... and I frighten K when I'm myself.

The blonde flinches, and stares at me intently.

"Shindou san is working for Tohma. He's working with Noriko... and by some freak accident, he's in a relationship with Eiri-san." K freezes, and his breath hitches in his throat.

He now realizes the seriousness of the situation.

"That's a deadly mix... poor kid..." he murmurs.

I nod.

"Yes...we've already seen what Tohma can do when provoked and Eiri-san is involved. Lives go down the drain. People die. If Shindou doesn't tread lightly, he could get hurt... and this is only factoring Tohma in. Eiri-san has been unstable since then. You saw it. I saw it... I know him well. Noriko has reported that he's not gotten much better over the years. Who knows what Eiri-san as an adult is capable of."

K sighs heavily, and collapses onto the couch with a grunt.

"What's he doing screwing around with some kid? A guy none the less? Thought he was the ultimate ladies man?" He pulls out his cigarettes, and lights one, taking a long steady drag.

"He... evidently kinda just wiggled himself into his life..."

I hear K-san's thoughts without him even having to say anything.

'Sounds familiar.'

I sigh, and flop down onto the couch next to him.

"Is it some rule that every famous lead singer needs a sexy blonde bastard? I don't think that's fair... do you?" I ask, staring at the ceiling.

"No, it's not fair..." He agrees, reluctantly.

He knows he's already lost.

"I have to go K. If only just for a day or so, I have to go. It could make all the difference in the world."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I leaned against the back wall, watching the crowd. Shindou-san was happily singing away on stage, although rather jumpy. Noriko looked tense, and the guitarist definitely seemed nervous. But the set up was grand, and the crowd was large.

Sanosuke Sakano picked me up at the airport. Haven't seen him in years. He's a tad more neurotic than I remember... but he works for Tohma. K-san had been on the plane with me, but had disappeared before Sano had arrived. He could be anywhere.

"Haha! Not bad, developers put in a lot of effort." I nod, continuing to survey the surroundings.

Poor Sano beside me has the jitters far worse than those on stage. Poor guy. Has too much pressure on him for his own stability.

"Yes, I've worked hard." He says, wiping his brow.

At least he's proud of himself.

"It's so dark, can't see a thing..." I sigh with a frown.

The man gives me an odd look.

"That's because you're wearing shades."

I totally knew that... honest...

I flush a deep magenta, and turn back to the Shindou kid. He's keeping it together, but is still unnerved. It's a wonder he's covering himself so well. The crowd is none the wiser. I'll give him that.

"He's really nervous." Sano squeaks out.

Personally, he seems more nervous and stressed out than the kid up on stage.

"You think so?" I mumbled, pushing the shades back up the bridge of my nose. "Oh well, no matter what I'll still have to go on stage." I chuckled, and batted a hand at the man. "Okay, here comes the savior Ryuichi." I smirk, and walk off.

The color drains from Sano's face, and he attempts to run off after me into the crowd, but doesn't have the strength to push himself through.

"WHA! Wait a minute! Special guests have to wait at least until the encore!"

I ignored him. The man will learn eventually that I never listen to what I'm told.

I'm on a mission, I can't be stopped.

"Sorry, comin' through.." I grunt, pushing past countless rude fangirls.

If they only knew who they were shoving and sending rude unnecessary comments at... They'll all be wetting themselves once I step on stage, squealing such things as 'I touched him!' or 'He groped me!' in the case of the sexy blonde a few feet back.

I've always had a thing for blondes... such a downfall for me...

Suddenly, without warning, the singing stopped, causing me to jolt my head up at the stage. I listened to this song tons of times, there was not supposed to be a pause here.

Shuichi had suddenly froze, and both Noriko and the guitarist seemed extraordinarily alarmed.

Shit was going to hit the fan...

I sped up my trip through the shovey crowd.

And then my worst fears come true as Shindou starts rambling his little head off, smack dab in the middle of the song. The guitarist flubbed on his rifts and stared at the teen, where as Noriko just stopped playing all together, looking ready to hack his head off.

I couldn't understand... Why was he doing this? It could be career suicide!

I tried to stop him, but my voice wouldn't carry over the crowd.

"Eek! Are you a moron!"

Okay... I could have been a tad nicer, but he couldn't hear me regardless...

"YUKI IS ALL MINE!"

I nearly fell over.

Was he talking about Eiri-san?

Why the hell would he announce something like that on stage!

Scratch that... the look on Noriko's face is priceless... this is totally something I'd pull, but for my own sick amusements, not a lover's declaration. At the very least, I'd never voiced my claims over anyone via concert stage...not even when Mika had appeared on those very few occasions...

I have SOME self control.

I take the crowd's shock for granted, and pull myself up on stage. No one even realized I was there right away in all the chaos.

Up close and under all the stage lights, I'm finally able to see Shuichi Shindou clearly for the first time. I concluded immediately that Shuichi (Yes, he's now earned rights to first name basis...) Is adorable. Nori was right, very much like a young me.

"Stop right there." I grinned, poking him in the cheek, sunglasses now out of sight.

Score! Noriko's flipping out behind us now. Evidently she's finally noticed that I'm here. I love messing with her... must be left over need for revenge from the days when she hated my guts...

"This is a tricky situation, and if you don't treat it right, Sakano will hang himself."

Seriously, poor Sano doesn't take stress too well...

"Let an old pro show you how it's done!" I winked, reaching out my hand.

Shuichi gapped at me, but passed me the microphone obediently.

"Hey! Ryu! Aren't you coming out just a bit too early!" Noriko screeched, leaning over her synth.

I continued to ignore her, after all, she should already expect this of me.

The microphone looked...odd. Not one I normally use...

"Eh... the name of this is... eh... GOOD MAC?" Damn, I hate kanji... "Ah, nope...NIKMOR, is that right? Ah, I don't care..." I grumbled to myself.

Must be a new Japanese brand? That, or just total crap.

Shuichi suddenly began spazzing, mumbling and stuttering to no one in particular as he partially collapsed to the floor.

I eyed him worriedly, and shuffled over to the long haired male.

"Hey, he's kinda...high?" I muttered to the guitarist.

Or so I thought... to be totally honest, I thought the only person that ever acted so off the wall, strange, and like me was...well, me.

Duh.

The guitarist shook his head sadly.

"Eh... no, he's just insane."

Sounds familiar...

Suddenly, Shuichi righted himself and held a piece of paper and a pen out to me. No idea where he produced the two items from...

"Please...sign and autograph for me."

Awwz! Even though he's become a big shot himself he's still a fan boy.

"SHUICHI!" Noriko roars from behind us.

I think I felt her vocal vibrations even across the stage...scary...

She's starting to sound really angry... this is GREAT!

"If you want an autograph, do it later! Don't you realize what kind of situation this is right now!" She panted. "And you, hey!"

She then froze, eyes narrowing at me... I continued to play dumb, ignoring her, and just signed the sheet of paper for the kid.

Suddenly, she whapped me upside the head with her equipment.

Like I'd told K-san just days prior, it hurt like hell, but I ignored it.

I can't help it, angering Noriko is amusing...

Unfortunately, this autograph situation, combined with the cuteness of Shuichi has gotten the concert way off topic, and I've still yet to preform damage control. The crowd had also caught on, and was now murmuring about me.

"But who is Yuki?" I catch from one of the younger girls, a brunette, up in front.

Yes, damage control is most definitely in order...

"HI! Hello everyone!" I cheered, grabbing everyone's attention. "This is actually the 'Punish Shuichi Game", yesterday we played rock, paper, scissors, and we bet that the loser had to do something embarrassing today." I rambled on, making this up as I went. "Then Shuichi said 'What if I lose?' Then I said 'When you sing, halfway through, make a speech about ownership of Yuki.' Shuichi said, 'Ah?' I said, 'Really.'" I laughed.

Sometimes I crack myself up with my elaborate off the wall plots...

Noriko began to whine to the guitarist about how embarrassed she was, and how stupid I am...

I totally win...

I've really got to remember that guy's name though...

"By the way, might want to mention this. This is Yuki." I stayed calm, pulling out a white bun-bun plushie.

Where did I get it? Don't ask questions. I'm magical...

"I'm the little white bunny Yuki, pleased to meet ya!" I squeak out.

Noriko looked faint.

I think I may have to apologize for this one later... oh well.

"Very good!" I'm so awesome... "Shuichi's explosive confessing speech, and ass wiping is done! I'm so good!"

Both Shu-kun and the guitarist cheered.

I've decided on pet names for him now as well...

"Explosively sexy sister Noriko, can we continue with a song?" I pled with a cute face.

"Ha! Whatever... "She grumbled.

Yes! I was totally forgiven... and she even blushed!

I'm apparently on a role tonight.

I tossed Shu-kun his mic back. He caught it with both hands, and stared at it as it lay in them, seemingly amazed to be holding it after me. He really is adorable. I'll have to thank Nori later for the chance at this experience.

Someday I'll have to get Shu to be normal around me. Then we'll be best buds, I can feel it!

I turned towards the guitarist and grinned.

"I'm borrowing your microphone, Takashi." God, I hope that's his name... "Our concert is only beginning! Let's sing the live house ceiling down!"

Shuichi flushed.

"Eh...okay!"

Shuichi's riled me up so much, I'm gonna have a blast!

I spun and rose a hand into the air.

"ARE WE READY!" Shuichi danced beside me as I addressed the crowd. "Hyper Jungle Mega-mix SU-BA-RU!"

Shuichi joined in, and Noriko went to work from in back.

I couldn't regret coming to japan... not after this. I needed it.

We had a blast... me... Shu-kun... Nori... and even Nakano, the guitarist.

Yes, I eventually learned his name...psh...

I would NEVER forget this night.

After messing around, Noriko tried to get me off stage in a calm manner, asking the crowd to thank me, but I wasn't finished.

"Ya, how embarrassing. Created such a scene..." It was fun... "But this kid is a total idiot."

Shuichi's eyes bulged at my comment, but I continued.

"BUT, taunting an idiot is quite fun. Wouldn't it be quite boring if everyone who came here was proper and prim?" I asked with a laugh. "What I'm trying to say is, in a moment, will be their true concert for tonight. Everyone please enjoy it. So...I'm going to quietly retreat once more. Then, Bad Luck will soon give out their new single, but first-" I snapped the mic back into it's stand, "I'll sing a song for them as a gift of GOOD luck."

And I WOULD retreat...I'd be back in the states in no time, and all of this would be a fond memory.

For both Shuichi, and Myself.

The lights beamed on me... the crowd cheered...and Shu-kun gave me his full undying attention.

And much to my shock... I never felt more at home.

I sung my forgotten heart out...

And Shuichi Shindou cried.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After the concert ended, Noriko grabbed me and threw me into the staff room with the band, instead of letting me make my getaway. I already knew her big blow up was coming...I could at least spare Shu-kun the worst of it by playing her main target.

After slamming the door behind us, the inevitable snarl ripped from her throat.

"What the hell were you two thinking about! MORONS! The most similar thing between you two is that you're both MORONS!"

Shuichi bowed his head, murmuring his apologies. I on the other hand, had to prove her wrong, and began my work, holding up a quickly scribbled on sheet of paper.

"Lookie, lookie! I realized that we write our names the same way!" Despite my horrid Hiragana, you could make out what I was getting at.

Noriko looked ready to murder me.

"Just how stupid are you going to get..." she groaned, balling her fists in my shirt, hanging her head.

Have I mentioned that I like making her insane?

"Wah... I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I laughed nervously.

She sighed, blushing as she raked a hand through her hair.

"Well, I was getting into it out there too..."

I grinned, and beamed at her.

I was happy to see that she'd enjoyed herself as well.

"Yup, yup, yup! You seemed so happy out there, and happiness is all you need." I nodded.

"It's my fault..." Shuichi muttered beside me.

Eh?

I spun to face him.

"Sakuma-san was just following along..."

I grinned, and patted his head, sitting down beside him.

"Don't mention it! Our concert couldn't have gone better, right?" I chuckled.

To be totally honest, I'd not have preferred the concert to be any other way. I'd fully enjoyed myself.

Unfortunately, this didn't seem to console the boy at all, and the water works started once more.

I've never been good with others crying in front of me, I've always been at a loss for what to do.

"Okay! I know...It's your fault, just don't cry anymore." I whined, putting on my best pouty face.

Unfortunately...Shuichi started full fledged balling...and Noriko looked just as panicked as I.

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" I groaned, face palming. "I seemed to have said some pretty useless things...I didn't think..."

At times, I can be such a daft screw up... this was not the way I wanted to end such a good night...

"Noriko said you were coming! I was scared to death..." The boy sobbed.

He was scared? Because he wanted to make a good impression on me?

Is it wrong to be touched?

I ended up a teary mess myself.

Noriko is evil... I've said it a thousand times by now...

"How terrible! Awful!" Bad, bad, Noriko... "You didn't have to scare him like that!" I pointed at Shuichi dramatically.

Our sobfest was cut short as a random intruder to our staff room rant party stepped in to talk to Shu-kun.

Long hair, pretty, proper looking... not my type, but to each their own.

"That Yuki, is this her? Didn't think you had it in you Shuichi."

Oh wait... Yuki is Eiri-san... My bad. Oh well, I'll play the ignorant one. Might be easier to talk to the boy if he thinks I don't know.

Shu-kun talks things out with this Ayaka chick on his own by the door. Turns out she's Eiri-san's arranged marriage fiancé.

Yea... like that will go over well. Living in presence of Eiri-san all those years has given me a pretty good idea of his personality. Poor, pretty, proper, temple girl don't stand a chance. Eiri-san's not one to be forced into things.

She's not Eiri-san's type either.

He and I can agree only on one thing, and one thing alone... and that's our tastes in women.

And men...

To pass the time during their long, drawn out conversation, I ordered food. After such a long night, I'm starving. I should have eaten before the show started.

Noriko ignores me for the most part as a babble on the phone, and simply tosses a juice box my way. I find it funny, that even without her daughter present, she's still carrying juice...

"I'm sorry, bit distracted, I need the take out bento." I laugh nervously into the receiver, slurping up the juice through the straw.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Chapter two is finally completed! Hope you enjoyed it, I'm really getting into this fic!

Hope to hear from you all! Chapter 3 will be here soon!


	3. Chapter 3: Like old times

Chapter 3! Whoot!

I'm glad that quite a few of you are looking forward to this fic, I hope to make it everything you're expecting!

Again, all in Ryu's POV, and Multiple pairings mentioned.

Rated-M but this chapter's very tame, sorry to disappoint on that subject :3

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Noriko convinced me to stay longer...

I should have resisted. Should have known she had been plotting from the start.

"Let's go out for a drink!" She says... "I'll invite Shuichi too, and you could get to know each other better."

I caved, because of Shu-kun of course. I had a lot of fun up on stage with him, and to get to know him off stage would be nice too.

So I agreed.

We slipped into a small, deserted bar, and had a drink. Or, at least she did... I'd opted for a Sprite. As you can see, I'm smart enough to at least keep a clear head in her presence, in case she attempts to get me to do anything hat I'd normally protest about.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Those days have LONG since passed, and were brief...

We were having a good time chatting it up, waiting for Shuichi, it being so much more enjoyable in person than via email and text.

"I've missed you, Ryu." She'd laughed,

Truthfully, I'd missed her probably far more than she could ever know. Even though I'd gotten a short visit from her and her family, I'd missed her greatly.

Her phone rang out unexpectedly. I'd thought that it was perhaps Shuichi announcing his arrival. Clearly I'd been wrong.

"Moshi, moshi!" Noriko chirped.

An angry woman's voice answered her, and Nori was forced to pull the pone away from her ear momentarily.

"Geez, calm down...he did what? You're where? Oh... alright, alright... I'll come get you, save you from the madness." she groaned, hanging up the phone.

She shot me a sympathetic look, and squeezed my shoulder.

"Look, Ryu... I've gotta go get Shindou. He's run into some trouble over at Eiri-kun's. Looks like one more person's coming than I invited..." she groaned.

Could it be the temple girl? That could cause awkwardness for sure...

I sighed.

"That's alright, I'll be right here when you get back." I chuckled, waving a hand at her.

She looked at me unsure, and winced.

"Promise me, Ryu?" she seemed to plead.

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Why would I leave?" I laughed.

"That's not what I asked, I asked you to promise me you'll stay right here until I get back..." she stared at me intently.

Had something serious happened?

"Yeah... sure, I promise. I'll be here when you get back, even if the building crumbles down around me."

Both Noriko and the bartender seemed worried about that comment... so strange...

"Okay, I trust you Ryu. Just remember, you PROMISED." She sighed. "I'll be back as quickly as possible. Don't give the nice bartender a heart attack." And with that, she grabbed her purse, and sped out of the building.

I vowed right then and there that Eiri Uesugi would have to face my wrath if any harm had come to Shu-kun...

I sipped my soda slowly, listening to the classical music pouring in through the speakers. The sounds of Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 23 in F minor, 'The Appasionata,' echoed softly through the room, calming my nerves.

It was a quiet, pleasant little bar, a big change from the places I've frequented over the last three years in the states. It didn't really seem like Noriko's type of hang out, but it was quiet, and private, at the very least. And what do I know? I've been absent from her life for three years. Who knows what else could have changed about her?

A half an hour came and went, and I truly started to get worried. How far had Noriko had to walk? I honestly never understood why the woman never learned how to drive. She was always going all over town, carrying everything and anything with her, walking or flagging a cab when need be.

Finally, after nearly forty minutes passed, the door opened, jingling the little bell in the door-way. I spun around, ready to confront Noriko, and Shuichi, with the biggest pout of the day, just for keeping me waiting so long.

Only...

Noriko had not walked through the front door. Nor had Shuichi.

Tohma had.

My breath caught in my throat, and his eyes locked with mine.

I was going to kill Noriko Ukai...

Tohma paused half way across the room, seemingly suddenly alarmed. He looked the bar up and down, and the color left his face.

I understand... I really do...

Noriko was supposed to be here. She wanted all three of us in the same room together, for old times sake, with Shuichi in the room as my pacifier, keeping me calm, stopping me from lashing out at the blonde, becoming a sobbing mess, or even turning into a horny bastard...

But she had left. That was why she'd been so worried, leaving me here, making me promise to stay.

I glared viciously at the bartender. Noriko had of course warned him about possible conflict. Should have warned ME after her departure.

"Something hard. Pronto. With ice." I snapped at him, clenching my fists, and with a shaky nod, he complied with my wishes.

Much to my horror, Tohma sat in the stool beside me, and ordered politely.

"Amaretto, with cream, on the rocks."

I ignore him. If possible, I'll do so all night if I have to. That way, I can pretend he's not really here.

I was not prepared for this. He was supposed to be in London. Noriko had not lied to me, K-san had even checked this out. Why was he suddenly here now? Why did he have to do this to me?

"Ryu." The blonde murmurs.

He gives me the respect of at least not looking at me as he stares at the rows of bottles behind the bar.

"Seguchi." I answer.

Tohma flinches.

"I guess I deserve that." he sighs.

"Wouldn't know." I answer monotonously.

The bartender returns with both of our drinks. I knock back half of it in one long gulp. Tohma nurses his own. I use the mirror to observe him. My sunglasses are just dark enough to hide my direction of gaze.

Tohma looks good. Unfazed by time. He even seems somewhat well rested. The sight of it makes my stomach churn. I finish off my drink, and don't even have to ask the nervous man for another. He's already passing me the second as I turn to him.

Tohma frowns, and chances a direct look at me. I can feel his eyes burning into my side as he looks me over closely. I don't give him the satisfaction of acknowledging him.

I can hear his mind, criticizing me, making notes...

I'm too thin, I know this. I knock back my alcohol easier than water now, no shit. I've got the shakes because the only sustenance I've had other than the drinks I've consumed here, in the last two days have been a juice box from Noriko, and a poorly made bento box. Get over it, I'm stressed, and under rested. You're not making things any better by showing yourself here.

"Ryuichi... how have you been?" He asks, out of the blue.

I have to resist the urge to break the glass in hand by clenching too hard, as I chug the full glass down in one go. Tohma sends me a disappointed look at this, I only snort.

"I'm just dandy..." My voice oozes sarcasm.

Again, he winces.

He sips away at his drink again, and stares down at the bar. After several long minutes containing nothing but awkward silence, Tohma gave a heavy sigh.

"I'm-"

"Don't." I interrupt.

I'm in no mood for apologies.

The bartender retrieves my glass, I assume to refill it, but I stop him momentarily.

"Drop the ice." I huff, taking the shades off.

He complies, and pours it from the bottle straight up. I don't even bother looking to see what I've been drinking.

At last, the bells on the door sound again, and a plethora of loud chatter follows it.

"If you say ONE more word to me, I'll make you go to Tohma and ask him yourself."

Tohma turns around at the mention of his name.

"Liar."

I look out of the corner of my eye at the newly entered group. Noriko's at the lead, followed by Mika, of all people, as well as Shuichi, and one other just out of my line of sight.

Great...so Noriko's brought Mika, in hopes that we can get along well, but not TOO well. Really makes me have the urge to slap her...

Mika's appearance is startling, to say the least. Cleavage and thighs galore. Who'd have thought such a proper temple raised girl would have such a drastic, sexy change in three years?

I could go for the new her, I decide. Only, then I remember that she's in bed with Tohma on a nightly basis, and has been for years. That she's the reason we fell apart... and that she hates me with the burning passion of a thousand suns. That quickly makes her evil, and un-sexy.

Thank god...

"Good evening Master!" Noriko laughs nervously, eyeing me and Tohma carefully.

Tohma seems just as relived as I at Noriko's arrival. Figures.

"Welcome! Lots of energy with all of Nittle Grasper here." The bartender perks up.

Between the three of us, he's the most relieved of all. I suppose the 'room crumbling down around me' comment had him really worried.

No, I'm too tired, hungry, angry, and unprepared, to start something.

Noriko's eyes settle on me, and she sends me her most apologetic look, relieved that I'm still here, and both Tohma and the bar are in one piece.

"Hm? Tatsuha-kun, you came too?" Tohma asks, sounding surprised.

Tatsuha? The youngest Uesugi? Haven't seen him since he was waist height...

I molested Tohma on stage that night... in front of Mika and him... good times...

Cute kid. Awkward situation though.

"It's nice to meet you, Sakuma-san. I'm your biggest fan..."

Sexy voice distracts me from my drink, and I turn to face it's owner. I immediately felt myself flush as I stared up at the man.

"You got plastic surgery! It was a huge success Shuichi!"

The obviously NOT Shuichi laughed nervously.

"Uhm... not exactly..." he murmured.

Well, yeah. Of course not! I was just joking... well... maybe I've drank too much too fast and my sarcasm is faltering? It's quite possible.

Tohma rises from his stool and walks over to Mika, slipping an arm around her waist.

"Come on Ryu, we're switching over to tables now that we're all here." Noriko begs, still apologizing with her eyes.

Mika and Tohma sat at their own smaller table as the rest of us snagged the larger one across from it. I was thankful, I could finally relax some. Mika seemed pissed though.

"Tatsuha, sit over here with the rest of your family!" she growled, tapping her blood red, long ass nails on the tables laquer finish.

I looked around, searching for the boy, but could not see him. I'd always thought children weren't allowed in bars? Wasn't he somewhere early in his teens?

I blinked as Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome crossed his arms and glared at Mika. I was beginning to like this one more and more with each coming second.

"No way! I wanna sit with Sakuma-san and Shuichi!" He protested.

I choked on my nasty tasting mystery drink.

THIS was Tatsuha! How many years off was I in age estimations! He surely looked old enough to drink in japan! Hell, even the states!

"Uh uh, no way! You're just going to sit there and bug the shit out of the man." She huffed, pointing to the seat next to her.

Tatsuha stood his ground, but began to sweat.

Mika twitched.

"Tohma." she smiled sweetly, elbowing him in the ribcage.

The blonde grunted and shot the raven haired teen a serious look.

"Listen to your sister. There's no need to bother Ryuichi-san. He's had a long, hard day."

Technically, I'd had a long, but enjoyable day. It only became a hard, and tiring day upon his invasion of...well, my current LIFE.

My eyes narrowed, and a smirk made its way onto my face.

So... Mika was still sore about the 'Be There' concert was she? Thinking I was corrupting her poor brother's mind eh?

Well, to hell with that...

I grabbed Tatsuha by the wrist and yanked him down into the chair beside me. The boy gasped, and steadied himself using the table as he descended.

"No need to fight on my behalf." I chuckled. "I'm perfectly content having Ta-kun sitting next to me, he's not buggin' me at all, right?" I winked at him, and his face immediately became crimson.

Tohma looked as though he'd swallowed a lemon... Mika on the other hand looked ready to launch herself at me.

Mission accomplished.

Noriko seemed ready to be off this topic however.

"Oh yeah, Ryu-kun, didn't you recently return to Los Angeles?" She asked, again begging me silently to behave.

I blinked, and nodded my head thoughtfully.

"Yeah, well... over there I was just so carefree, but agreeable I guess. XMR is mainly stationed in new York though." I paused, sipping at my drink. "I only came back to Japan because Noriko-chan asked me directly. I'll be returning shortly."

Tatsuha, having seemingly recovered from the event just moments ago, smiled warmly.

"Before you go back, by all means, please come by and play..."

Oh? What's this?

Do I dare take that as a flirt? An invitation?

Mika had turned purple, and was now digging her claws into the poor table.

Oh yes... he was most definitely coming on to me.

I beamed. I couldn't help it. It's nice to know I still have it, and then there's of course the small perk that Tohma, Mika, and Noriko all looked ready to die, or kill the boy.

"Yeah, yeah! I'm comin' let's go, let's go!" I laugh, playing along.

"Ryu..." Noriko growled her warning.

"Los Angeles huh? On the road suits you, right?" Tatsuha asks, sending a sexy smile my way.

Damn that boy! Too tempting for his own damn good... no wonder Mika's so worried. Seems as though she's more worried about HIM making a move on ME than vice versa though...

Bless today's youth...

"Now! Kumagoru! Miracle beam!" I shout, whipping said pink bunny at the boy's chest.

Just the perfect distraction to get some of that sex appeal to dissipate...

"Ahh... yeah... enough about Los Angeles, eh?" He seems nervous now, but the desired affect has been had.

"The dimension of the conversation is all wrong..." I hear Noriko mutter to Shuichi.

Tatsuha had turned away while I listened to her. He seemed tense, and a bit flushed.

Perhaps I had said something wrong again? Drinking prior to Noriko returning might have been a bad idea... but it had been the perfect distraction from Tohma at the time.

"Are you feeling bad?" I asked, chewing on Kuma, "What's wrong Tatsuha-kun?"

Immediately, he turned to me, eyes sparkling, and suddenly, he seemed far worse off than moments before.

"Yeah, I am... I feel a little... Sakuma-san, give me your shoulder please..."

Aww! So cute... faking it just to be able to put an arm around me...

Fortunately, I'm a lovable guy, and hugs are always welcome... not only that, but he's given me a hell of an excuse to move farther away from Tohma and Mika.

"Yah! Hang in there!" I turned to Noriko, feigning a worried, panicked expression.

I could be one hell of an actor if I wanted to be.

"Uhm, I have to take Tatsuha-kun to rest, be right back." I shout, dragging Tatsuha to the other end of the bar.

"Your brother really likes Ryuichi, doesn't he?" I hear Tohma ask Mika, as I drag her brother away.

I can't be sure if I was meant to hear that or not...

"The taboo of homosexuality doesn't apply to my brothers..." Mika mutters in response.

So, Tatsuha's had a thing for me all this time eh? Guess I can't make a habit of putting on a live strip shows in front of small children...heh...

"Ah, I see... then Eiri too..." Tohma asks nervously.

No shit...

As if you didn't know Tohma... cuz him seducing you four years ago gave you no hint at all... bastard...

"Yeah, the little brat and he are living together."

I froze.

Shu-kun was now LIVING with Eiri-san!

Things are worse than I thought...

"Living together! Living together! You've been staying at Eiri's place!" Tohma screeches, lunging himself towards Shu's table.

So... even now Tohma's still got issue with the other blonde... guess is was stupid of me to think that things could change, that Tohma would get over things with time.

Disgusting...

"Wait a sec! Why are you getting so upset! Tohma!" Mika snarls.

Seems Mika's not as dim-witted as she was years ago... seems as though she's caught on to some of Tohma's naughty secrets.

"Yeah but... he threw me out tonight..."

Suddenly, tears are threatening to spill from poor Shu-kun's eyes, and I have the sudden urge to hunt down one Eiri Uesugi and knock the piss out of him... I may be a tiny guy, but I have one hell of a right hook nowadays...

"Uhm..." Mika murmurs, my attention snaps to her. "Well, that was kinda our fault, me and Tatsuha..." She sighs, staring at Shuichi. "You see, Eiri accepts others so easily, it's unbelievable. With that misanthropist, there is nor fragment of human trust. There's a reason behind his cold nature, I'm sure that you realize that. No one can bee so uncooperative without reason, Shuichi-kun." Mika's gaze hardened.

I felt the urge to lurch across the room and smack that look off her face...

"Shuichi-kun, you... really don't know a thing about him."

I snort, and Tatsuha gives me an odd look as he sits beside me.

Yeah... and ignorance is bliss...

My eyes narrow at the woman.

Shuichi was better off not knowing about Eiri's past. Knowing what Eiri had done could frighten him, if he didn't learn all the facts prior to the end result not everyone could be as accepting of someone who could kill... or have people killed without an ounce of remorse, for that matter...

When you stop and think about it, it makes me seem all the more sadistic... but now's not the time nor place to dwell on the past...

Tatsuha seemed as interested in the conversation as I, and the boy stared intently at his sister. Briefly, I wonder if Tatsuha even knows the true story about the situation? Well... at least the story Tohma told Mika and Uesugi-san... I'm sure only K-san and myself know the FULL details of the events that had gone on, otherwise Eiri would likely never speak to the man again... nor Mika...

"Shouldn't pick on Shuichi... he's a good guy. Overly sensitive at times, but that's just how he is. He's good for my Bro. Eiri's been acting a little more normal each day since they've gotten together." Tatsuha smiled, sipping at his glass of water.

"Hmm..." was all I could manage.

I'd hate to get started on the matter in front of the brother.

Tatsuha seemed to get the hint, and dropped the subject, choosing to lean against my back with his own. I have to give him one thing, for supposedly being my biggest fan, he's got a lot of self control. Most people would be all over me. Kid might have some potential.

"So Tatsuha... you still in school?" Best to get my mind off of anything regarding Tohma, Eiri, and Shu-kun all together. "You work with your father too, correct?" I flash him my best smile over my shoulder.

Tatsuha slumps against me, and lets out a sigh. I catch Noriko's gaze from across the room, and she's clearly displeased with my retreat, and seems further displeased with my choice in company.

"Yeah... I'm still in school... sorta..." He mumbles. "Mostly school from home, lets my schedule be more open. I work with my father, temple duties..." He turns crimson, clearly embarrassed.

Perhaps because I've now been able to peg him under eighteen due to his enrolment in classes? I don't see him as a college student. Neither Mika nor Eiri had ever attended. Or perhaps he's embarrassed about the family temple? I couldn't be sure without asking, and then I myself would be embarrassed...

Tatsuha stayed silent from there on out...

I watched Shuichi awkwardly change subjects, ending the topic with 'I want to find out about him on my own.'

I give him props for that...Shu-kun's a sweet kid, just headed down a rough path... with the wrong sort of people guiding him.

"Shuichi!" I shout, pulling myself out of the booth.

Tatsuha looked up in alarm as I stood, but uttered no complaint. If anything, he seemed more disappointed than anything.

Shuichi's pink hair fluttered around as he turned to face me, his large eyes wide and shining.

"S-Sakuma-san?" he stutters nervously.

Am I honestly THAT intimidating?

"Come with me to the bathroom!" I grin, bouncing off towards the men's room.

He looks startled as I rush past him, Noriko looks appalled. I don't even bother watching Tohma and Mika.

Upon entering, I leaned against the sinks, patiently waiting for the younger man to appear. I knew he would, had no doubt about it, so it didn't faze me in the least when he arrived seconds later.

"Sakuma-san?" He questions, nervously wringing his hands.

I let out a sigh, and push off of the sinks, walking over to the urinals. Shuichi stares on, looking away only when I unzip, and begin to relieve myself.

"Please just call me Ryuichi, or even Ryu, Shu-kun..." I murmur, glancing over my shoulder.

He flushes, and stares off into space in the mirror's reflection.

"A-alright... Ryuichi..." He mumbles.

"So.. .Shuichi?" I ask. "How are things at NG Productions? They treating you nicely there?"

Shuichi looks taken aback at this, and tilts his head thinking of how to answer himself.

"Well... things are pretty good I guess..." He murmurs, leaning back against the sinks like I had upon his arrival. "I mean, me and Hiro are having a blast. Things are a bit different than we expected...the work load is far larger than I'd hoped, it's a bit stressful not working at my own pace, but I'm sure I'll get used to it eventually."

"Yes..." I nod. "That sort of thing takes time to get used to. Noriko tells me they nabbed you right out of highschool, that Sakano-san literally came to and scouted you at your graduation... that you two had the balls to hijack the ceremony and put on your own little show..." I smirk, shaking myself off, before zipping myself up and heading back to the sinks.

Shuichi's blush deepened as I approached, and he laughed nervously.

"Oh...well, that was all Hiro's idea...we'd been fighting, an well... it was kinda his way to make things up to me. I wasn't expecting Sakano and Mika-san to be in the crowd. I wasn't expecting to put on a show either."

"Mika-san?" I raised an eyebrow, honestly shocked.

Noriko hadn't said Mika had been involved...although that might have been just to avoid conversational awkwardness.

Shuichi smiled.

"Oh... yeah... see, I kinda knew Mika before all that went on because...because of..." He trailed of uneasily, and stared at the tile floor.

"Eiri-san?"

Shu clenched his jaw, and nodded slowly.

"She...tried to get me to get Yuki to go home, in exchange for a contract with Seguchi-san..."

My chest tightened.

"But... in the end? I just... didn't want to do things like that... I did manage to get Yuki to go home, but I turned Mika-san and Seguchi-san down. I felt stupid for skipping out on such an excellent chance, but it just didn't feel right...like it was cheating... I don't know..." He sighed.

That's good...had me worried... seems Shuichi really is a good guy. Very brave and unselfish thing to do, to turn them down. Not sure what I'd have done in his place...

"In the end, everything worked out though, eh?" I smiled warmly, rinsing my hands off beside him. " You were unselfish, and you got the contract anyway. Means you had the potential to do something great. Feels good, don't it?"

Shuichi grinned.

"Yeah!" He laughed, biting his tongue, the tip of it sticking out of his mouth.

I leaned back up against the sinks, wiping my damp hands on my jeans.

"Don't worry about Tohma... he won't bug you too much, in regards to your music. He has much more troubling things to worry about than bossing you around. I'd be more worried about him on the subject of Eiri-san. He's... protective of him... tread carefully, 'kay?"

Shuichi seemed to understand, and nodded slowly.

"Yeah... Seguchi-san doesn't seem all that bad he's just... intimidating... Noriko's far scarier. He had her join up with us to pull my attention off the backing and focus on my vocals, but even though she's doing the backings, the stress of her working with us always has me on edge. She's always angry, kinda sorta even seems to hate me sometimes..." he murmured.

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing.

Shuichi seemed unnerved again, and fidgeted as he watched me.

"I'm sorry! So sorry!" I cackled, clutching my face. "Sorry... but...Noriko must really like you then..." I giggled, Shuichi only stared at me like I'd lost it.

"Excuse me?" He gaped at me.

I wiped my tearing eyes on the back of my hand, and grinned at him.

"Noriko acting like that seems to be her way of saying she adores you...been there, done that, wish I could have skipped it..." I chuckled, shaking my head. "Noriko was rude, downright bitchy for the first few years of working with her, but as you can see, we're tight now, she's like a sister."

Shuichi nodded, but seemed no less disturbed with this new information.

"So... you mean to tell me that she'll ALWAYS be like this? Until she's decided she's punished me enough!" He choked out, fully distraught.

I sighed, and shook my head, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yup... that's about right. You'll get used to it...eventually...and then she'll be your best pal!"

Shuichi only slumped against the sinks, and dropped his hands to his sides.

"This won't get any easier, will it?" He asked, nearly whispering.

I stared at him for a long moment before answering, choosing my words carefully.

"It will... in ways. In others, it will only get harder. That's life. Things change with popularity, and publicity. Music styles go in and out of fashion... you don't always get along with your band mates...only the best bands can make it through all that turmoil. I can only hope that Bad Luck is one of them.."

Shuichi beamed at me and nodded thoughtfully.

"I'll try my best!"

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Well, there you go, chapter 3!

4 will be posted soon, I promise! It's already part way done.

Hope to hear back from you all!


	4. Chapter 4: Needed

Back again!

Sorry for the wait, Thanksgiving took up much of my time the last few days, but I've returned at last!

This is another super long chapter!

I hope you all enjoy it and I hope to hear your feedback.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

By the end of our unnaturally long bathroom break, Shuichi seemed far more at ease with me than before. He was a nervous boy, to say the least, but hopefully with time, the nervousness would lessen with time.

In the end, I hadn't been able to talk about Eiri-san... I blame Shu-kun's earlier protest of 'I want to find out about him on my own.'

Perhaps I just don't want Shuichi to hate me? Who knows...

I slung an arm over his shoulders, and we walked back out into the bar, laughing with each other. My happiness was short lived once I realized all eyes were on us, and that K-san had at some point entered the building. The long haired blonde looked furious, and judging by how he stood closer to Shuichi and myself than the rest of the group, I'm almost positive that Tohma's presence has caught him off guard, and is the cause for his anger.

With a sigh, I pull away from Shuichi, and smile at him sadly.

"Sorry, but my ride's here. I've kinda already stayed here longer than I intended, sorry..." I laugh nervously, but Shuichi beams at me all the same, and shakes his head.

"No problem! Do what you have to. It's been a pleasure talking to you, and especially getting to sing with you!" He laughs. "I had a great time! Hope we can do this again someday." and with a quirky grin, he sped off to rejoin Noriko, and the newly returned Tatsuha.

To be honest, I to hope to sing with Shuichi again someday...but unless he comes to the states, that's not very likely. K-san already looks past his breaking point, and after Tohma's shown himself, when he should have been in London, I doubt he'll ever let me near Japan again.

I can already see the concern pouring from his eyes. I send him a reassuring smile as I regretfully make my way towards him. To be frank, I'm perfectly fine... talking to Shuichi has made my rage aimed towards Tohma dissipate, but god only knows how I'll feel once back in the states.

"K!" I laughed, dashing forward, reaching for his arm.

He looked at me strangely, but sighed, rather than ask what was going through my mind.

"Time's up Ryuichi. We're going home now."

I sigh, and nod my head sadly, before turning in the direction of the entrance. I guess it's surprised K-san, as his eyes widen, and he follows me closely. I send a brief grin over my shoulder and wave happily to Shuichi. With a small smile of his own, he waves back.

I don't say good bye... not to Noriko, not to Shuichi... and not to Tohma.

Without another word, I obediently climbed into K's passenger seat, and watched as he rounded the truck, and climbed in himself.

The ride was spent in silence. I realized all too soon that depression wasn't waiting for me to return home. Mear blocks into the ride I felt the dread creep up my chest. Already, I was missing Noriko...we hadn't had nearly enough time to talk. Much to my horror, I just wanted to barrel role out of the truck, and dive down the street back to the bar, if for nothing else, at least Shuichi. I should have talked more while I had the chance... should have clued him in on Eiri-san, on Tohma-

And as much as I had tried to avoid it, it hit me, like a boulder to the chest, and I sucked in a deep, but sharp breath of air. I hadn't been able to stop myself, and I watched as K flinched, and began to watch me through the rear view mirror. Even if I tried to stop it now, it would be pointless... there was no concealing my emotions from K... he knew me all too well.

I brought my knees up to my chest, and buried my face in them, so at the very least K couldn't look directly at me, and I couldn't see him staring. I bit my lip tightly, squeezing my eyes shut.

It was sad really... that the slightest mention of Tohma, even if only in my thoughts, sent me into hysterics after all this time. Prior to this, I'd even been able to talk about him... I couldn't be sure if it was seeing him face to face, or the night's alcohol that sent my defenses crashing down, but they had crumbled to a fine dust at my feet.

Without warning, the truck jerked to a stop, lurching me forward against the seatbelt restraints. Hesitantly, my gaze rose to K-san's face in questioning, my throat tight, and eyes watery. With a strained look, the man shot forward, gathering my pathetic form into a tight squeeze of a hug.

"I'm sorry..." he murmured against my hair.

I tensed, and tried to push him forward enough to meet his gaze once more.

"S-sorry for what?" I cleared my throat, willing the tightness to dissipate. "You... haven't done anything..."

A hiss escaped the man's lips, and he flung himself back into the driver's seat, pulling a pack of cigarettes from beneath his seat.

So much for him having quit...

"I retreated the moment I dropped you off...had a bad feeling about this whole concert idea from the start..." He huffed, lighting up. " Noriko happened to mention to Seguchi that you might be coming... things happened too quickly for me to catch on. Before I realized it, he'd already cut his vacation short, and had made it all the way back to Japan. I attempted to head him off, and stop him from getting to the concert hall, but he'd covered his tracks well...guess he had an inkling that I'd try and stop him..." He grumbled.

I instantly froze, and the tears that had been filling up my eyes spilled free.

"He...he was there?" I breathed, clenching at the arm rest.

Immediately, K seemed to regret his decision to tell me, and I watched as he grimaced, while swiping at my face frantically.

"He showed up about half way through... Sakano kept him preoccupied, and by the time Seguchi had him calmed down, Noriko and you, as well as Shindou, had already left. The rest of the situation is guess work...at some point Noriko managed to get a hold of Seguchi, and arrange for him to meet you two at that bar..." He sighed, gripping the steering wheel. "I tried to get you back in my possession before the meet up, but my information was limited... By the time discovered your whereabouts, it was too late. I'd barely walked through the door when you came out of the men's room with Shindou..." He paused and looked me over carefully, as though he was trying to assess the amount of emotional turmoil I was already in. "I'm sorry...that you had to sit through that...the only reason I let you come here to Japan was because you seemed to really be looking forward to it, and I was damn sure that Seguchi would not intrude...I suppose even I can be mistaken. Instead, your good time went down the drain, and you were forced to endure the one person you didn't want to see. For that, I'm very sorry, Ryuichi." He gave me a weak smile, and I felt the last of my control shut down, as the sobs came, wracking my body.

K could only stare at me sadly, before starting the engine once more, and continuing on to the airport.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I awoke mid flight, disorientated... unable to recall where I was, and why I was there. K-san was immediately at my side, handing me a bottle of water, and Kumagoru simultaneously. Only then did I realize how parched I was, and I guzzled it down greedily, setting the bunny down beside me. My mind wandered, slowly recalling the events that had brought me on this flight. My chest tightened uncomfortably, and a soft gasped escaped my lips. Afterwards, K opted to stay at my side, rather than patrol the plane.

My head throbbed angrily, and I ran a shaky hand through my hair, as I glanced around the chamber.

K had evidently opted for a private flight, rather than have me first class on a public plane. I was grateful for this... I could be away from prying eyes while I attempted to sort out my emotions, and looked far from graceful with my mussed hair, tear stained face, and dark shadowed eyes.

I was too exhausted to cry...and it hurt to think, so I only shut my eyes once more. I could feel K's own gaze on my form and I winced at the dull thud in my skull.

"How do you feel?" He asked sternly. " Noriko called me... said that you'd had quite a bit to drink, in a short period of time. Told me to feed you too." I could hear the scolding in his tone, and I was in no mood for it.

"Headache...tired...hungry..." I muttered, covering my face with an arm.

A sigh sounded from the blonde, and I heard him shift, and step across the small airborne room. He returned seconds later, and grabbed a hold of my shirt front, wrenching me into a sitting position.

I attempted a glare, but failed, only managing to grimace, and flinch as the feeling of brain sloshing against skull sent my head spinning.

K tsked, and grabbed my hand, placing two white, oblong, pills in my hand, while gesturing to the water bottle in my other.

No need to tell me twice, I took them without question, and prayed they worked their magic as quickly as possible.

"Here, eat. Don't ask questions, just do it."

All at once, a small cooler was dropped into my lap, and I let out an unpleasant groan.

"But.. I'm NOT hungry..." I whined.

Truthfully, the only thing on my mind was sleep... however, my stomach disagreed with my mind, and protested loudly, much to me dismay.

"Clearly, that was a lie. Eat..."

A pop and a click sounded, and I forced my eyes open, only to see K sitting across from me, gun out of its holster, sitting in his lap. He stroked it fondly...

Although I've said prior to now that K-san's guns don't faze me, they're far more intimidating when your head feels like it's splitting in two, you're under fed, and cried tired...

"Fine...but I don't have to like it..." I grumble, sticking my tongue out

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After eating, I'd slipped back into sleep. My headache had begun to fade, and I found myself able to relax at last. Knowing that I was going to be a mess for days, if not weeks after this one, I thought it best to take advantage of my sleeping ability while I could.

K-san only forced me to wake as the plane began to land. I was groggy, but managed to fasten my seat belt, and sit upright during touchdown. Much to my shock, we had not landed at the New York Airport I'd been expecting...

K had taken us directly to Los Angeles, and as I shuffled out of the plane, I was whisked into Judy arms and pulled into a tight squeeze.

"Claude called me as soon as you two were on the plane! I had him switch destinations immediately... my poor baby! He's told me you had an unexpected meeting with that horrid man...I'm so sorry!" She feigned a sob, raking her long nails through my tangled hair.

It's hard to sort out emotions in this case...on one hand, I'm touched that she cares so much, but on the other? I find it terribly pathetic that everyone's well aware of my lack of emotional stability on the matter.

"I'll be alright, Judy..." I murmured, inhaling the strong, deep scent of her perfume, all the while snuggling into the plush collar of her fur coat.

A sigh sounded from K behind me, but I took no notice of it. Everyone in a while it was nice to be mothered, even if Judy was only a few years older than myself.

A tense hand gripped my shoulder, pulling me out of her arms with a sharp jolt.

"Sorry My Love, but Ryuichi's got to check in to his hotel suite or they'll pass it on to another well paying customer. Last minute bookings easily fall through." K huffed, practically dragging me away.

A nervous laugh escaped my lips, and Judy sent her poor husband one hell of a glare.

"I expect that you'll be staying with him yourself, _Claude_?" Her arms crossed across her chest, and she stood ridged.

Ark behind her sagged and let out an exasperated sigh.

K-san only rolled his eyes and shot a grin at her.

"But of course! Someone needs to stay by his side and make sure he doesn't get lost... or too drunk... or run into any shady characters! You're welcome to join me, we could always get our own room!" He chirped, continuing on with his dragging.

Judy only sighed, and shot a glare at Ark, who immediately bolted to retrieve his vehicle.

Sad to say it, but K-san had always been extremely jealous, when things came to Judy. She'd changed so much after moving to California, that K had a hard time reading her at times. She clung to every male director...producer...male cast member.. Hell, even the paparazzi and tv station staff...and let's not even get back onto the subject of Ark... So he has his reasons. Getting jealous over me is just silly though.

I chuckled to myself and the blonde just shot me a curious look.

Judy would not be joining us... I knew that from the moment K-san threw the suggestion out there... but was it too much for the man to dream?

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The hotel was fancy, to say the least. The suite was even more glorious. Odd looks were shot at K and I, walking into the hotel together, with so very few bags between the two of us.

Perhaps they thought us a couple... who knows. It IS Los Angeles...

The looks vanished immediately after K demanded that the king size bed be replaced by 2 fulls...the hotel staff looked at him like he was crazy...even more so after the concealed magnum appeared out of nowhere.

Checking in became relatively simple afterwards...and the suite did indeed contain two full size beds by the time we entered it. I claimed the bed farthest from the window. K eyed me cautiously as I tossed myself into the soft mass, and cuddled up into one of the pillows, but at the time, I could have cared less. The man sighed, and tossed his bags half hazardly into a far corner, before walking into the sitting room. He did not return for sometime...

I took his absence for granted, and slipped off of the bed, padding into the oversized bathroom. A soft smile played across my lips as my eyes fell upon the large built in tub. Without a second thought, my clothes were flying in every which direction, and I'd turned the nobs on full blast, waiting patiently for the water to rise, tossing a good amount of bubble bath into the steaming bath water. When it had at last filled up a good decent amount, I slid in, sighing in content as the hot water sloshed around me. I craned my head back against the tub, and let my eyes slide closed.

I sat in silence, listening to K-san shift around in the other room, opening and closing cabinets. Could he possibly be checking security in such a well established hotel chain? I'll never full get him... K was a being of his own... no one I've met has ever been even relatively similar to him, the closet only being the mans own wife, and her lackey lapdog, Ark.

"_Ryuichi... how have you been?"_

Of all things, Tohma had to ask such an obvious question...

How have a I been? I've _been_ horrible... no thanks to him and his abilities to keep me captivated, even after all of these years, even after all of the lousy things he's put me through... even after all of the heartbreak... even if I HAD been doing alright for a decent amount of time, I haven't been GOOD for years and years... If he's been unable to see that, after the many years he's known me, he never WILL understand me.

The worst thing about running into Tohma HAD been seeing how well HE was doing... when I myself have been far below my normal standards... I've definitely LOOKED better, that's for sure... and I've never been so cold, and rude to the man. What hurts most... is that the man actually HADN'T done anything out of the ordinary to deserve such treatment from me... we'd left off on teary terms, but good terms all the same.

It was only AFTER his departure that I'd become bitter... perhaps I'd wanted him to overreact? DEMAND that I return to Japan? Demand to stay... with me... Leave the Uesugi family behind? If that had been what I'd been hoping for, I'd been so very foolish... Tohma would always do what was best for Tohma, and that was how things would forever be. Anything else was just a pipe dream...

Somehow, I'd always known that we'd never last... right from the start. Perhaps that is why I'd had such a hard time accepting his affection in the start, even though I'd been head over heels for him, the man who saved me from my less than satisfactory life... perhaps I'd unconsciously been trying to prevent the onslaught of pain and sorrow sure to come in the following years... times like this made me wish I'd followed my instincts.

But if not for Tohma... would I have made it this far? Surely, I'd have never become the singer I am today, but would I have even survived? Or would my step father have eventually finished me off? Or even just have tossed me onto the streets? I've never been able to take care of myself... without Tohma... I'd have surely been gone long ago... and that thought was frightening.

I felt my chest and throat tighten once more, and I fought to contain myself.

I MISSED Tohma, so very much... I had, the entire time we'd been apart... but I'd been so miserable, even with him, for many years. It shouldn't affect me so harshly, just to see him...talk to him... for a few lousy minutes.

It wasn't as though the man had smiled at me lovingly, begging me to fall into his arms...apologize for ever having stayed away...

If he had...

I'd have surely fallen straight into those long, welcoming arms...

I only became aware of the tears running down my face, when they were being gently wiped away. I forced my tired eyes open, and looked back and above me. K-san stood there hesitantly, a wad of tissues in hand. I smiled up at him weakly, and swiped a hand across my eyes in attempt to finish the job.

"Sorry I'm such a mess..." I muttered, running a hand through my hair.

K only frowned at me, and let loose a heavy sigh.

"That's not something you need to apologize for... everything was out of our hands with this one. I should have taken better precautions..." I watched as he yawned, and removed his holster from his hip, tossing it onto the counter in front of Kumagoru.

I quirked an eyebrow at him curiously, as he started on the buttons of his shirt, and couldn't suppress a giggle as his dress shirt soon joined the holster.

"Why _Claude_, I'm flattered... but I'm not that desperately in need of some loving..." I snickered, and he smacked me on the side of the head.

"Shut your pie hole..." He grumbled, although deep flush rose on his cheeks. "You know damned well I'm not into you like that... I'm happily married...although happily could perhaps be used rather loosely... and dammit! Stop calling me _that_!" he hissed, shaking a fist at me.

He then turned around, and slammed a cooler down beside the tub. I eyed it, tilting my head curiously. K only rolled eyes, and stripped down to his boxers, whipping his pants at my face. Before I could remove them, or ask what _exactly_ he was up to, he'd already slid down into the opposite side of the tub.

I wrenched the slacks off my head and blinked at him.

He popped the cooler open, and passed me a bottle, with a quirky grin on his face.

"Cheers!"

I smiled warmly at him, and removed my own cap.

"Yeah... _kanpai_..."

This was not the first, nor would it be the last time, K-san shared a bath with me to cheer me up...

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

K made a point of keeping me as busy as possible over the next few days...

Even while in L.A., I was unable to sit still. He'd scheduled several events last second, specifically to keep me busy. I couldn't complain.. Although it was tiring, it honestly did keep my mind from wandering onto less pleasant subjects.

A photo-shoot went down without a hitch... as did two interviews. Over the weekend, Judy dropped Michael off with us, so the boy could spend time with his father. That alone kept me preoccupied, as entertaining the small child was a project in itself. K-san had even carted us off to Disney Land, much to my amusement. I couldn't tell you who enjoyed the trip more...me or the child. I'd never had the pleasure of going to amusement parks as a child, or even as an adult. No spare time, and no one to actually go with.

By the end of the day, we were all exhausted, but we'd all had a great time, including K-san himself... he got so much joy from seeing his son happy.

When the weekend had ended, and little Michael had returned home with his mother, K and I simply ate room service delivered dinner, and slept well into Monday.

Late that night, after another fulfilling dinner, we sat down to watch a movie, before turning in for the night. By the end of the movie, I was thinking far too much about things I'd rather not, and turned to K, setting Kuma aside, to get my mind off of things. He seemed to understand right away that I was now longer listening to the wide-screen.

"How long are we staying here?" I asked with a sigh, slipping off of the plush couch, stretching.

"In a hurry to get back?"

I smiled, and shook my head slowly.

"Not necessarily... but there's still that last song to push on out there for this season..." I chuckled. "It's supposed to be on air in a few short days. Thanks to me and my issues, we're days behind."

K nodded, and even in the dim light of the room, I saw him pale.

More than likely, we'd both be getting an ear full upon our return... but I'd definitely needed the break after the visit to Japan. Things could have been worse... I could have taken the situation way out of hand...gotten myself ill on those pent up emotions. Thankfully K has a good head on his shoulders...otherwise I'd have probably set myself back a year in maturity...

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

We returned to New York early Wednesday, and as expected, the President nearly bit our heads off. In the end, we got off easy, so long as the song was released pronto... which would be no easy task... We were only a week away from the end of my contracting period, and although I fully intended to sign on for the following year, legally, this song could not run over time.

I met with my studio musicians immediately. I'd disappeared without notice to them, and fully expected them to be sore with me. Unlike the previous musicians I'd been forced in with, the ones I held currently were the only ones who seemed to get MY music. A fall out with them could be disastrous. They met me in lobby, right after returning from the president's office. Ina-chan seemed thrilled to have me back, welcoming with wide open arms, her burgundy hair whipping behind her, ready and willing to start recording immediately. Her fiancé, Jack, was in a sour mood about it though, and expressed this by refusing to speak with me. Zac wanted nothing more than return to the studio, and get the music flowing. Regardless of complications, recording went underway almost as soon as I stepped through the studio doors.

With music on the brain, I didn't have to worry about anything else going on in my life...

Or so I thought...

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The final song was released two days later. It started off with a bang, and that pleased me greatly. Two days after that, the entire album went on sale, and K-san, Myself, and my three musicians, Zac, Jack, and Ina, threw ourselves a well deserved party to celebrate. Our recent CD's songs blared through the oversized sitting room, the base vibrating the room. We drank, we sang, we danced... until none of us could do any of the above any longer. It was tiring, but exciting all the same. At the time, I could think of nothing that could be better. In ways, I might have been right.

It was nearly 3 am before I retreated from the party. I suspect that K and the others continued on until dawn, or whenever they had eventually gotten tired. I awoke around 10am, and managed to drag myself from the warmth of my covers, and get myself into the shower. I became aware of my cell ringing half way through, but ignored it. If it was important, they'd call back.

To my annoyance, the phone only stopped ringing for a few seconds before going out of it's way to start up once again. I retreated from the shower quickly, wrapping a towel around my waist, and nearly dropped the annoying phone, once I saw the number trying to reach me.

Noriko.

Hesitantly, I dropped onto my bed, and flipped the phone open, with a sigh, I answered.

"Moshi-moshi..." I yawned, laying back across the mussed sheets.

"Ryuichi!" her voice rang out loudly, and I bit back the annoyed groan threatening to spill from my lips.

"What's up Nori? You've disturbed my shower time..." I grumbled, hoping she'd get the idea, and rush her conversation.

"Bad news... I need you to come back to japan." her voice was void of all humor, and I froze.

"What happened!" My heart lurched, and dread spilled into me, thick as cement.

"I need you to come back to japan...things are a mess over here. Shit hit the fan. Tohma's out a band, and although Shindou's mental stability was questionable before now, everyone's walking on thin ice with him right now... he even tried to dismantle Bad Luck... things are serious..." She sighed, and I could hear the frustrating in her voice, and the worry that laced it.

"That doesn't tell me what happened!" I snapped at her. "What's wrong? Who's hurt? Why is Tohma out a band? What's happened to Bad Luck!" I was rambling, and I new it, but all of the possibilities swamped my brain...

Had Eiri-san harmed my dear Shuichi? Had Tohma himself been in an accident? Had a band had one of those tragic group accidents, sch as a plane going down, or a tour bus exploding?

Noriko gave a heavy sigh.

"Tohma's a mess... he may not show it to the others, but he's been having a nervous breakdown in his office... I've just been there. Eiri's clearly traumatized by the incident, which torments Tohma to no end, as you know.. But Shindou..." She trailed off, seemingly knowing I was going to react badly to her next statement. "Shindou's clearly gotten the worst end of it... ASK, the band of Tohma's that was topping the charts? Well, they're no longer... no fault of the two underlings, but the singer had a BIG problem with Shindou... thought he was stealing their thunder. He got obsessive with it, and before anyone could realize how bad it had gotten, the guy did the unthinkable..."

I'd been right... Shuichi was hurt... but not by Eiri's hands, not by Tohma's... but an outside force.

"He's alright, right!" My voice shot up several octave, and I felt my chest constrict. " What's his condition! What did that BASTARD do to my poor Shuichi!" I hissed, abruptly sitting up.

Noriko was silent for a long moment, and with a groan, she continued.

"Tohma acquired the information from Hiroshi, our guitarist, and Eiri himself... Hiro found the boy in front of his house, after he'd managed to drag himself there. Evidently Aizawa, the man from ask, cornered him on the streets while a bunch of fans were after him...offered him safety until the crowd dissipated and gave up on their search for him. Only... n that time, Shindou had been far from safe... I'm not entirely sure of the details, but evidently, he threatened both the band, and Eiri... telling Shuichi to disband Bad Luck, or he'd tell the world that he was in a relationship with a man, and since that man happened to be none other than Eiri 'Yuki', a sex god in the eyes of almost all women, Eiri's career would go down the drain with that information linked..."

"Tohma could get rid of all of that though! A band in trouble! EIRI in trouble!" I whined, clenching at my hair. "He could have just walked away, gone straight to Tohma! Why try and disband!"

"It's not that simple..." Noriko's voice dropped to nothing more than a whisper, and the dread I'd been feeling multiplied ten fold. "I think... I think he was prepared for that... and in turn, he took measures to ensure that nothing Tohma or anyone else could do would undo what he was striving to make happen... he had Shindou... attacked... on the spot. He took pictures and everything... it was bad Ryu, really bad..."

I stared at my white ceiling in shock.

"Attacked? You don't mean-"

"Shuichi had no choice but to let two guys have their way with him, with Aizawa watching the whole damned thing, taking pictures... between the threats, and the man power at hand, the kid never stood a chance. Not only was Shuichi hurt in all of this, in ways that practically destroyed Eiri in his own experience, Eiri had the shock of such a thing happening to his own lover... with it partially being his fault. He's been harshly blaming himself... as Shuichi wouldn't have had such a heavy secret to prevent from getting out, had he not been involved... To make matters worse, Eiri went nuts after receiving news of what had happened, and sent one of Aizawa's bandmates to the hospital in critical condition, in attempt to confront Aizawa himself, and retrieve the film. In the end, he got the film back, and if not for Shuichi showing up, despite his condition, Eiri might have gone to town on Aizawa as well."

I was speechless... words could not express my sorrow, not only for my dear Shu-kun, but Eiri-san as well...having been there through the entirety of what had gone down in new York, I had a damned good memory as to how the boy had been after the attack... words could not express my anger...the hatred towards the man that DARE give the permission to attack Shuichi Shindou...

Noriko continued carefully.

"Tohma managed to get wind of the situation after Hiro explained things to me... he was the one to have the man from ASK rushed to the emergency room... paid the hospital fees and everything. The man's not pressing charges, thank god... Eiri really scared him... he doesn't want to mess with him, and add Tohma and his threats on top of that, and the man won't be speaking a word of this to anyone. He's in stable condition. Lost blood, cracked quite a few ribs, fractured several other bones, concussion... but no permanent damage... but Tohma thinks that this is far from over with Aizawa. Eiri gave the film to Tohma... couldn't bare to look at it himself, but Tohma had it developed for proof and evidence... he said it was bad... I couldn't bare to see for myself, and didn't think I could ever look at Shuichi again if I did see it."

My throat burned, and I swallowed roughly.

"... Is... is he alright?" I managed to choke out.

Noriko sighed.

"He seems...okay... mentally... but he's not exactly himself... he's taken it far better than Eiri-kun had... but he hadn't killed anyone, and in his mind, it was kind of a choice... he figures that had he told them he cared less about what they revealed about him and Eiri, he could have just walked away... that by letting them do what they did, he'd just bought their silence. It's a horrible way to think about things, as none of it is his, nor Eiri's fault, but if that's what's keeping him together, who am I to deny that false sense of security? I don't think anyone could handle it if Shindou shut down like Eiri had... especially Eiri himself, but it doesn't change the situation. Tohma's a neurotic mess, Eiri's punishing himself, and Bad Luck is on a short hiatus. Physically, Shuichi's got nothing more than a few bumps and bruises... some scrapes... there could have been a lot more damage had Eiri and him not been together, often... physically... that helped tremendously..."

She'd become uncomfortable talking about the situation, giving details... and I wasn't going to press her for more. I was struggling to keep myself together, curled up on the bed, my chest heaving.

"Ryu?" She murmured gently into the phone.

"Yeah..." I managed to croak out, feeling my head begin a massive throbbing fit.

"Are you alright?"

I opened my mouth to answer, and immediately felt sick. Leaving the phone on the bed, and Noriko screaming for me to answer, I dove into the bathroom, heaving up the contents of my stomach on the spot... the previous night's alcohol and snack items burning my throat as the exited from which they originally entered.

It was several minutes before I could remove myself from the porcelain basin, and wash my mouth out. I stood propped against the sink for what seemed like an eternity, before I could bring myself to retrieve my forgotten cell phone.

"...you still there... Noriko?" I panted heavily.

"Yes...I am..." she whispered. "Are you alright?"

I collapsed back down amongst the sheets, and returned my gaze to the pearly white ceiling.

"I'll live...

A long silenced followed my response, before Noriko could muster up enough courage to speak up once again.

"Ryuichi... please return to Japan... your presence would really help us, especially Shindou... I need you here... Tohma needs you..." She murmured, and I could hear the hesitation at the mention of Tohma's name.

I stayed silent, and slowly squeezed my eyes shut.

"I... I can't make that kind of decision right now... please understand, Noriko..." I muttered, curling into a ball.

"I understand... I know this must be difficult to process..."

"Can... I call you back later... please?" I pled with her, silently praying that I could just fall fast asleep, or even better, wake up from my current nightmare...

"Sure..." She murmured, and with a soft click, she was gone...

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Chapter four is at its end, after quite a bit of dram for our poor Ryuichi...

In fact, this chapter, at its finish, was twice as long as it is now! However, this seemed like a good stopping point, and as I write this small author's note, chapter 5 is 90% completed...so you'll only have a short wait before it turns up as well.

Please excuse any errors in my writing... I finished this at 4am, after writing it on and off all day, and ending with a 4 hour straight run through...

Enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5: Rough me up

I'm back!

Sorry for the wait, I've had some difficulties with getting in the mood to write anything Gravitation... I've been on a Gundam Wing jag as of lately, I apologize ^ - ^'

I'll gradually get all my new chapters for all my Gravi fics posted, just please be patient with me.

On the bright side, here's a chapter that lives up to the story's rating!

Have fun, my loving fan girls!

And thank you AnitaRealityCheck for being my beta, whoo!

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shit had hit the fan...again...

Shuichi Shindou, the young singer whose music I'd fallen in love with, had been harmed in the worst ways possible... and the poor boy had done nothing to deserve it. He'd been born with the talent...

Eiri Uesugi, Mika's younger brother, and Tohma's little toy was having New York flashbacks...

And Tohma...

Poor Tohma had a world of hell on his hands to deal with...alone...

That thought alone made my chest tighten and ache.

Would Tohma be able to handle so much at one time? With such personally related parties?

I wasn't so sure.

The last time such situations had been involved, Tohma had suffered with his guilt for a long time, even with the comfort of himself, as well as Mika, and Noriko. It was a scary thought.

I sighed, and leaned back onto the bed, massaging my temples.

I couldn't go back... I just couldn't...

I would NEVER be able to stay away from Tohma... I knew that, even now...

But Shuichi... he was so young, and vulnerable... could he handle that chip on his shoulder alone? Would he be forever fearful that the man would come after him again? After all, at least with Eiri-san, the men were dead, and couldn't harm him anymore. Shuichi's were still alive and at large...

I'd known from the start that his relationship with Eiri-san would be unhealthy, even dangerous... which only furthered my frustrations... and my strong urge to separate the two. Eiri-san's present mind set would be hazardous for my little singer...

I clenched at my hair and argued with myself internally.

There were hundreds of pros for returning to japan... and two cons... One sharing its spot with a pro...

Returning to Japan would mean seeing Tohma, on a regular basis... and I have very little self-control.

Not only that, but my last visit to japan had damn near thrown me back into my depressive state of mind. Without K-san's intervention, I could have easily sent myself back 2 years...

Could I return to Japan strictly for Shuichi Shindou? Or would I find myself helplessly following Tohma around like a lost puppy?

The questions were endless...

I did not want to lose what I had accomplished in three long, less than pleasant years away from it all.

I let loose a loud growl, and flung the towel from my waist, throwing my feet against the cold floor. I wrenched open the closet, and grabbed the first pair of jean in sight, and a random striped shirt, pulling both onto my chilled form roughly.

This was insane...

I COULDN'T go back...

And yet... my contract was practically over with XMR Productions... nothing was legally binding me down... nothing could stop me...except perhaps K-san... and sanity's last ditch efforts...

"What do they want from me?" I groaned, pressing my forehead against the cool wall.

Sadly... I already knew...

Everyone had several reasons to ask me to return, some legit, and some were for their own selfish reasons. Did no one consider that maybe it would be traumatizing for ME to try and fix other people's problems?

Perhaps I could compromise? Come for another short visit? Attempt to avoid one Tohma Seguchi like the plague, and simply concentrate on Shuichi Shindou and getting the boy back on his feet? Give Noriko a damned thorough and long lecture about her being unable to run my life? Then return back to XMR ... with a heavy heart, and world filled with problems...

There was that negative again, slapping me across the face...

But could I possibly avoid the situation all together? Noriko would harp, and harp, and harp... until I finally gave in... And the stress of that would get me agitated for weeks...

But I didn't have weeks... I'd have to sign the next year's contract in only a couple of day... or not sign it at all...

And it was unavoidable...

I glared at the cell phone lying across the sheets.

It mocked me.

I picked it up and held it in front of my face, eyes narrowing at my Kumagoru background.

"Alright...I'll sign the next contract. I'll take a few weeks leave. I'll VISIT. Only visit... and then I'll return to work, bury myself in it, and hope for the best. Does that satisfy you?" I snapped at it, tossing myself onto the bed on my stomach.

I flicked the phone open, and squeezed my eyes tightly shut as I hit Noriko's number.

It rang several times before an audible click was heard, and I launched into my rant.

"ALRIGHT!" I barked into the receiver, ending in a long whine. "I'll come back to Japan...but it's only temporary! Temporary! I can't stay forever... the most I can do is two weeks. I'll try and calm things down on all ends. But I'm doing this for you, because you asked me from the bottom of your heart, not because I want to..." I huffed, feeling my heart pound deep within my chest.

There was a long pregnant pause, and the panic began to wash over me slowly...

This was a BAD idea...

"Thank you...Ryuichi. This means a lot to me..." and the line went dead.

I'd frozen.

I was sure my heart skipped a beat...possibly two.

I'd not been speaking to Noriko this time around.

Tohma's voice had echoed through the speaker, strained, but Tohma all the same.

Tohma...

Noriko was a tricky, tricky bitch sometimes...

Tohma on the other hand, is a drug...a bad, bad drug...

Not a serious one...perhaps like cigarettes... but bad all the same...

No matter how long ago you've quit, the urge to smoke is still there. If you're in the room with smokers, the urge to light up is overpowering. Not all can resist. Nicotine... a rather addictive substance. Not harmful so much in small amounts... but excessive amounts could stop your breathing...gives you cancer... Tohma is one and the same.

My decisions happened in a split second.

Without a second glance, I threw together some travel bags, packed my laptop, and bee-lined for the President's office in the next building. I was suddenly very grateful that I'd accidently left Kumagoru at the after party to fend for himself... K-san would have put a stop to things the moment he'd heard the first initial conversation...

I couldn't explain WHY I was doing what I was about to do...stupidity perhaps? Somehow I was beginning to think that I LIKED tormenting myself... I'm such a masochist.

I barged into the office; nearly knocking the door off its hinges, and the President...the calm, collected President looked up at me in alarm. Perhaps he saw the determination on my face, or even the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. I couldn't say for sure...

"Sakuma-san...?" he asked unsteadily, moving to rise from his seat, but I stormed over to his desk, and slammed my clenched fist onto its surface, panting heavily.

"I will not be re-instating my contract for another year. I am sorry. I'm very grateful for your hospitality in the past, but I find that I'm needed elsewhere... I don't know if I will return... I'm so very, very sorry!" I'd bowed like crazy, and shot out of the building like a bat out of hell, before the man could find the right words to say...

I'd sign the release forms at a later time... K-san would see to it, once he finally discovered where I had disappeared to.

I snagged the first cab that crossed my path, and to the airport I went, a roller coaster of emotions washing through me. I'd officially quit XMR... that had not been the plan... I had promised myself only a few weeks...and now I was stuck... by my own rash decisions... I was so stupid.

But I couldn't forget that voice... Tohma's eternally grateful, shocked, and moved voice... it echoed in the back of my mind.

I dialed Noriko's number again...and again it rang on...and on... and on... and then Tohma's shaky voice sounded through the small speaker.

"H-Hello?" he'd murmured.

My heart pounded, my head spun, and I nearly lost my ability to breath.

Like I said... my cigarette...

"Come get me..." I held my voice steady; it took so much effort... "I'm taking the next flight out. Meet me there."

"I'll be there...Ryuichi..." Again, the line went dead.

The cab driver observed me from the rear view mirror nervously.

I couldn't blame him. It's not every day that an overly emotional sobbing mess of an Asian man sits having a nervous breakdown in the back seat.

I tipped him heftily as I exited the vehicle... I couldn't even say how much, but he was happy as can be.

I barely made the flight. The lady at the ticket stand must have thought I was being chased, as she kept looking over my shoulder. I was a mess, and I knew I looked it, face all puffy, hair going in odd awkward directions, front of my shirt damp. She hurried herself in time to get me on the flight. Baggage check was simply just timed well, very short line.

I flew first class. Managed to be seated alone, was glad, as I couldn't handle anyone at the present time. I texted Noriko's cell, before they could tell me to shut the phone off. I couldn't face another phone call at the time, I simply just sent the flight number, and turned the phone off

I'd honestly wondered if he would have the balls to be there when I exited the terminal...

But then again, this was Tohma... and unless he had changed in the last three years, I knew he would... I knew he'd be waiting for me, and it was enough to tear at me the entire flight...

The flight had dragged on. It gave me time to recover. I made a long trip to the bathroom, washing my tear streaked face clean, refreshing myself. I roughly combed my hair, raking my fingers through it. In the end, I'd returned my hat to my head, but the sunglasses retreated to my jacket pocket.

I knew K would have figured out that I was missing... and would be tearing up New York searching. How long would it take for him to seek out the President? Hours? Days? After all...I'd left most of my possessions behind. Including Kuma. It might just look as though I'd wanted to disappear spur of the moment... I could only hope he didn't jump to worse conclusions than the truth.

I'd hated to leave him...he'd become an extension to my body over the last three years... but with K's devices, I'd have never gotten past baggage...then again, with the devices, K again, would have seen me making a break for it...and would have put a stop to it immediately.

As the flight's end approached, the sense of panic had returned. It took everything I had to stay calm and collected as the plane touched down.

I would not show weakness.

I would not cry.

I would resist the urge to tackle him to the ground and fuck him senseless...

I would...

I did... don't worry. I have SOME self-control.

Keyword being SOME...

The plane had come to a complete stop. With a deep breath, I'd exited the plane. I'd retrieved my luggage, all the while listening to the speakers ramble on.

"NOW ARRIVING FROM LOS ANGELES, UNITED AIRLINES FLIGHT 875... YOU CAN MEET YOUR PARTY IN THE SOUTH WING ARRIVALS LOBBY..."

And I immediately set off for said Arrival's Lobby.

And then I'd turned around... spotting that silky blonde hair fifty feet away...and all sense flew out the window.

It was Tohma.

Tohma was here.

Just a short distance away... not hundreds of miles... no Mika, no Eiri, no Noriko...no one...

The blonde briefly glanced up...must have seen me staring, for a small nervous smile graced his lips.

Half my baggage dropped, and suddenly, without warning Tohma was getting closer.

I realized too late that I was running, and all too soon I'd leapt into the air.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting!" I laughed gleefully, wrapping myself around him, stealing a kiss from the corner of his mouth.

Tohma yelped, telling me to stop, flailing slightly as the other passengers stared.

Last second I'd managed to get a grip on myself... I behaved...and recovered.

"Oh yeah, this is Japan!" I'd giggled. "Sorry about that Tohma." I released him and beamed up at him.

His eyes had grown wide, and he sputtered nervously.

"No worries, given where you've just been, I'm sure you've picked up some new habits... I don't mind... Besides, I'm too thrilled to care. I've been waiting for three years... Welcome back, Ryuichi."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

This was how I ended up alone. With Tohma. In his office.

Tohma is a busy man now. Business meetings, never ending piles of paperwork, constant phone calls.

It's disgusting...he's become his father, the very thing he'd strived to avoid years prior to now.

I leaned against the wall, watching him sift through the new papers that had arrived in his sudden abrupt absence, when he'd come to retrieve me. A twinge of shame eats at me...after all, had I not damn near demanded that he be the one to retrieve me, he wouldn't be even more behind in his work...

He sighs.

I wonder if he's regretting his decision to have gone...perhaps even regretting me returning? I can't read minds. Times like these make me wish I could, situations could go far smoother.

A sudden slam brings me out of my thoughts, and I focus on the blonde sitting at his desk. Tohma's holding his head in hands, staring down at the desk. His beautiful hair covers his face, so I can't even begin to think what emotions are skating across his fair features. That's unnerving, to say the least, I've already had to be on guard.

"Ne, Tohma?" I murmured, stepping away from the wall.

I watched as he gripped at his hair, and moved to rub his temples before glancing up at me. He shot me a weak smile, and slowly stood from the desk.

"It's good to see you. It really is." He whispered, causing me to tense.

I watched him step away from the desk, roughly shoving the plush chair back into place. I half expected him to be coming towards me; but instead, he collapsed down into the couch at the far side of the room, stretching back against the cushions.

He looked tired... oh so very tired. Even now Tohma still seemed to have sleeping problems, likely why the couch was in the office in the first place... poor bastard... and here I'd thought he'd been perfectly fine during my last visit. Seems things hadn't changed as much as I had thought...

"You need sleep." I scold, stating the obvious.

A soft chuckle rose from his throat, and he stared up at me with those tired sapphire eyes.

"Always do." he murmured.

I began to squirm... It was so hard to hold back. Years of distance had not destroyed my want to help him... and yet, I knew to give in would mean undoing everything I had worked for, that I'd be right back where I started.

He stared at me, watching me closely, making me feel all the more unnerved.

"If being here is making you uncomfortable, I could arrange with Sakano-san to take you to a hotel. I won't force you to stay." He paused, letting out a heavy sigh. "I just wished to see for myself how you were. You were...reluctant... to talk to me when you were last in town. I've been worried." He mumbled, now staring at the floor.

Stupid, evil, mean, considerate, blonde, son of a bitch!

Damned Tohma...

My reserve crumbled, and I launched myself across the room. Tohma was only briefly able to look shocked as I landed square in his lap, slamming his back against the couch, and my mouth against his.

I clung, gripping at his shoulders tightly, nails digging into his crisply pressed shirt.

I wanted him to push me away, snap me out of my moment of weakness, shove me aside, go on about his lovely Mika... do anything to stop me...

But he didn't.

He groaned into my mouth, and only pushed me away when he needed to breathe. I could have gone without air; he already caused me to have difficulties breathing...

My hands skated upward, fingers rubbing at his neck. I could feel the tension slacken beneath my touch, and his pulse race

I managed a small grin, and pressed my forehead against his, squeezing my eyes shut.

I was doing EXACTLY what I'd promised myself I would not do.

Tohma shifted beneath me, and my eyes slowly opened to look into his own. Without warning, a hand was suddenly in my hair, and my head roughly shoved forward. Tohma's mouth was suddenly crushed against my own, and his tongue danced within.

A whimper ripped from my throat.

I didn't want this.

I didn't want to start the heartbreak all over again. I didn't want to watch Tohma be a husband. I didn't want to be...left behind. Again.

Without breaking his captivating kiss, he shoved me down, knocking me to the floor. For a brief second, I thought maybe he'd come to his senses, like I myself had... Instead, he joined me on the carpet, slamming me back down against the soft surface. I grunted upon contact, and watched Tohma grow close again. I prepared myself to shove him away, put a stop to what I'd accidently started... but yet again, I failed.

Tohma climbed atop me, recapturing my lips, knees slipping between my sprawled out legs. Logic could no longer be formed as I felt his arousal grind against me. My hand shot up and lodged into those blonde locks, the other gripped his hip, drawing him closer.

Tohma lifted his head, breaking our connection as he stared down at me. My eyes had likely glazed over by this point as I panting, catching my breath.

And damn it all to hell, reality had caught up with him at last.

"Ryuichi..." he murmured, concern slipping ungracefully into his gaze. " If you're unsure about this... If you're going to regret this-"

In such a frustrating moment, I had the urge to slap him silly.

How dare he suddenly grow a conscience!

I let out a growl, and used my hand full of hair to yank his head back. With a yelp of protest from the surprised blonde, I latched onto his neck with my teeth, feeling him buck against me as he cried out in shock at the sudden pain.

"Don't stop…" I growled again, "or I'll have to make you bleed..." I glared at the blonde.

I was overheated and pissed at myself, and he was asking if I wanted to stop...

Fuck my life...

Longing flashed across his eyes, and Tohma captured my mouth once again. With a heated breath, I slipped my leg up over his hip and arched against him. Tohma gave a low purr of a groan in response, grinding his hips down to meet that friction with equal fervor and need.

We moved together, incredible heat building between us, our teeth gnashing together furiously.

I'd grown impatient over the years it seemed...

My hands retreated from his person, and then tugged the blond's shirtfront out of the front of his slacks, fumbling with the first of its buttons.

Tohma paused, lifting himself up to allow me better access, and room to work. The buttons were freed, and Tohma's pale torso came to surface. When only three or four buttons remained, I said screw it, and slipped my hands into the opening I'd managed to create, raking my nails across his firm chest. Tohma sucked in a hiss of breath, and nuzzled into my neck.

With a true smile, I let my fingers roam along this familiar torso and ghost over Tohma's strong flat stomach.

I gave up, giving into my pent up desires. There was no stopping this. Three years of separation had done nothing but cause heart break and a whole hell of a lot of sexual frustration between the two of us.

So yeah... tomorrow I'd be regretting this, possibly drinking myself senseless, but at the very least, I was in heaven for now!

The muscles in Tohma's abdomen quivered slightly as I gripped at his sides. It had been so very long since we had done this, it was a wonder that either of us were still in control.

I'd just been contemplating whether or not to stay 'in control' or let loose...

And that was when his fucking telephone rang.

Tohma turned his head in its direction, scowling at the disruption.

I too gazed at it with some malice, before a smirk forced itself onto my face.

"Answer it."

The blonde stared down at me, a quizzical look on his face, slightly disbelieving.

"You want me to interrupt this, for that?" he grimaced. "Seriously?"

I nodded, smirk in place.

"Might be important, better not risk it. You've already put yourself far enough behind in work for me today."

Tohma stared at me for a long moment, letting the phone continue to ring, before a groan left his mouth.

"Stay." He commanded.

I raised an eyebrow at him as he rose, and quickly made his way back to the forgotten desk

I shouldn't... I really shouldn't... but I had to.

It would be payback for being too damned irresistible for his own good... for making me break my own promise to myself...

I lay there long enough for him to reach the large desk, before rolling onto my stomach and racing to the double doors. I locked them, making sure they were secure, and watched as Tohma lifted the receiver to his ear.

Tohma's back was still turned to him, and therefor he was none the wiser to his current situation.

"Hello?" he asked, keeping his frustration at a minimum.

I'd already planned to have fun with this, but I couldn't be more pleased with the human on the other end of the line.

Tohma jumped, and he turned to me, eyeing me suspiciously as I walked towards him.

"Mika... what's wrong?" he asked, I'm sure for me more than her, so as to warn me of who he was speaking to.

"There's nothing wrong. I'm just seeing if you're going to be home for dinner, that's all. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

I was pleased to find that I could hear her voice echo from the phone. I relished in it...

"Oh, she hasn't," I whispered into his free ear, coming up behind him.

He froze, body tensing, and I couldn't help but let an arm snake around his waist, caressing the bare skin once more.

I felt him shiver.

Tohma hissed, and batted at my hand. I in turn nipped at his shoulder, and spun him around, shoving him against the wall.

"Tohma? Are you there?" Mika's voice rang out again, concern evident at his lack of vocalization.

Tohma's eyes bulged, and I think I may have made him forget she'd still been on the line.

"No, you haven't interrupted," he quickly spoke into the receiver. "But I was just about to head out to a meeting. I'll probably be stuck here until way late, so I may just end up camping on my couch. I hope you don't mind. I should be home tomorrow."

I smirked, sliding my hands down to the button of the blonde's jeans.

"You sure you won't be busy tomorrow, too," I purred with a whisper, lowering myself down to kneel before him.

Tohma's next breath caught in his throat and the back of his head thumped against the wall as he belt and zipper were released.

"Are you all right, Tohma?" The voice on the other end of the line demanded in concern. "Dammit, Tohma? Did something happen?"

Using his momentary distraction, I let loose a small sigh, I took his entirety into my mouth, grinning against him as I felt his length pulsate. It had been years since I'd last serviced him like this...even before I broke up the band, and left Tohma for what I thought would be forever... and clearly, it was affecting him just as I'd desired it to, as Tohma seemed stunned, and unable to answer his wife. I was proving to be a very... talented... distraction.

I wrapped an arm around him, gripping at a firm cheek, pulling him deeper into my mouth. With a gasp for air, finally snapping out of his daze, Tohma forced all of his concentration on the conversation at hand.

"I-I'm sorry..." He murmured into the receiver. "It appears I have just enough time to speak for a moment after all, I've just been informed that some of the parties involved are running late... Please continue, Mika, but make it quick."

Pressing my forehead against his abdomen, I chuckled, the sensation vibrating along his length. Tohma's free hand instantly flew down, his fingers tightly grasping my shaggy hair. I winced at the pulling, but enjoyed it all the same, releasing him, and taking him all the way in once more, running my tongue along his length as it passed through my lips.

"Faster," he breathed shakily, bracing himself against the wall, only with his back.

"What was that Tohma?" Mika asked, confusion thickly lacing her worried voice.

Tohma squeezed his eyes shut, and the grip on my hair tightened even more. Unable to help it, I let loose a whimper, and his grip immediately slackened some... he hadn't realized he'd been pulling so tightly.

"You're taking too long," he spoke into the receiver, voice cracking, swiftly losing his control and wishing to end one distraction so could devote his attention to another. "You just kind of, stopped speaking there for a moment..." He chuckled nervously. "Speak faster, and tell me what's been going on. I don't have -fuck! - much longer to spare." He gasped, hand leaving my hair to brace himself on the desk, where he knocked a good portion of his paper work to the floor.

"Tohma? What happened!"

"Hit my head on the desk trying to pick some papers up..." he groaned, thrusting into the depths of my throat.

Not expecting the sudden harsh intrusion, I gagged, and looked up at him, replacing my mouth with a hand.

"We can pick them up later," I argued, smirking. "I have a feeling more will be joining them shortly." I giggled

Tohma held the phone far from his head, muttering under his breath, "Of all the things... Ryu- neh...- this is ridiculous..."

"Payback. I've suffered for hours because of you..." I hissed, quickening my hand.

The new friction caused him to flinch, his head hitting the wall again. This time he left it there, quietly panting for breath, barely able to catch the voice on the other line as he returned the phone to his ear.

"Noriko called..." Mika sighed, a hint of annoyance gracing her voice. "She wanted me to tell you to call her; she wanted to know how your earlier meeting with the XMR contractor went."

"M-meeting?" Tohma struggled to remember the day's earlier engagements, but the friction of my hand along his length was growing steadily faster, shattering his concentration.

"Me," I whispered gleefully, proud of myself. "She meant you meeting with me... I suppose Noriko neglected to tell her I'd come to town...lucky me..." I smirked, and threw my head back forward pulling his shaft back into my mouth.

"O-oh, yes," the blonde breathed. "Mm-My apologies... I've had a long day today... everyone's vying for my attention it seems..."

"Clearly..." The woman muttered. "If you have to go, I'll let you. This must be an important meet up if you're that distracted. Talk to you later..." She grumbled, a loud audible click following her.

I chuckled as he finally hung up, and replaced the phone to its hook.

"Were those noises for my benefit, or for hers?"

Tohma's sapphire eyes darkened, and he shot me a heated gaze.

"You realize that I'll have my revenge for this... right?" he panted.

"Then I'd better make the best of what I've got, ne?" I smirked, before promptly swallowing Tohma whole.

The blonde gave a sharp cry, bringing his other hand to join the first in capturing the back of my head. My mouth worked him eagerly, and bliss washed over me as Tohma moaned and kneaded my hair. He was close, so very close... and I was pleased. Pleased that even after all this time, I could still blow his mind.

My hand joined my mouth, and with a quick squeeze and twist, and a swirl of my tongue, that was it.

Tohma let out a rough yelp, and released into the back of my throat.

Tohma was left panting long after I'd pulled away, licking my lips, a smirk plastered across my face. I stood slowly, kissing up the blonde's stomach and heaving chest until I finally reached his lips, and crushed my own against them.

So what if I'd screwed everything up that I had hoped to achieve over the years? I had truly missed this... missed him. Was it so wrong to be truly happy with this turn of events? I suppose so... but dammit, I deserve this!

Tohma growled deep in his throat as my tongue teased at his own, and his own lust brought him back to life at once. He wrapped his arms tightly around me forcing my body against his own. I resisted a chuckle as the tables turned, and he became the aggressor once more, devouring the insides of my talented mouth. I shuddered against him, trying to pull him even closer to me, although it wasn't possible, and Tohma's eyes flashed.

Before I knew what hit me, my rear collided with the man's desk, and I hissed into his mouth. He pulled away from me briefly, eyes raking over my body, before he gained a smirk of his own, and latched his hand around my wrist. I was wrenched forward and spun swiftly around, and my freed hand lurched out, joining the other, catching the edge of the desk, preventing me from slamming my stomach into it as my behind had.

I gasped as Tohma's arms circled around my hips, and he efficiently unfastened my tight jeans and tore them down to my ankles, seemingly very pleased I'd neglected to slip boxers on in my rush to dress myself after that phone call...

"How do you want it?" he half groaned, half growled into my ear.

Those few words got my heart pounding against my ribcage, and I could feel my body heat up, despite the temperature being far from warm against my bare flesh.

I'd always liked this side of Tohma... long gone were the days of submissive, embarrassed Tohma, and although the circumstances that had made him change weren't all too pleasant on my end, I had loved the change... and hated that it had taken Mika to bring it on out.

To think, there were times long since passed that at my slightest touch, the man would have been a puddle of blonde Tohma goo before me... things had changed so much, for better and worse...

I huffed, and braced myself against the desk tightly, craning my neck to gaze into those shimmering, blue, lust filled eyes.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten already," I panted, pressing back against him with a groan. "C'mon, Tohma, you know me...bruise me, rough me up..."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Well, there you are, chapter five.

Hope you all had fun and enjoyed it; it took a long time to get it out there!


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